Secrecy is a burden.

365 is enough

2011-06-04T16:57:00.001+08:00

I've decided to abandon this blog for good. It was a nice ride. I've shared a lot; personal affairs, general thoughts, and a few secrets of my own, but I think that's enough. I kind of want to start blogging in a different way. In a simpler mode, and I just can't bare to change ajikto all over again. It's fine just the way it is, and starting from scratch is a much easier option. So embrace...

http://naelahnordin.blogspot.com

Goodbye ;_;

Scrapbook 011

2011-05-31T22:00:00.000+08:00

It's okay if there's a gap between the ground, because I've always been above clouds

Blogskins

January 1.0 Flawless Disaster
January 1.1 Fou de Toi
February 2.0 I'm the Joker
March 3.0 Good Night
March 3.1 12th
March 3.2 Dazed
March 3.3 Owls and Shadows
April 4.0 Stronger by every tear
April 4.1 Slic and Chic
May 5.0 Cut my wings if you dare

Quotes

I'll be your Harley Quinn if you'll be my joker --snydley// mint_hearts

If only you came 366 days earlier --redcottonstar// intorolude

If it's your wish, I will follow you everywhere . Even if your throne crumbles, and your shiny crown turns to rust, even if the bodies pile up endlessly, above the bottomless pile of pawns.As you softly lie down, I will be beside you,until i hear the words "check Mate" --Sebastian Michaelis// Kuroshitsuji

It wasn’t the haunting feeling from hiss gaze that made me allow him to stay, but the serenity in our silence --Izon//112390

Why are Sleep and Death so closely related... so dangerously close to the same thing... yet so terribly different? --Hypnos// Perfection

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Grasses are green. Clouds are white. Sometimes grey.. Sometimes black. It kinda depends on the weather --Nigahiga// Valentine

The quiet morning, like the many before it: calm, comfortable... but comfort can be terribly blinding. --Wesley Chan// When Five Fell

Last year's wishes are this year's apologies --Fall Out Boy//I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off

A Day without you is like a year without rain. So I'll be in the dessert waiting for your mirage to appear. Filling my sorrow, easing my pain --Naelah Nordin//2010, bored

Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth --Mark Twain//Bigger, Better, Darker

Little Alice fell down a hole, bumped her head and bruised her soul --aphyrodite

It's okay if there's a gap between the ground because I've always been above clouds -- Zico//I'm still fly, mixtape

Standing Egg - La La La (Standing Egg, album)
GD and TOP ft. 2NE1 - Oh Yeah (MBC Gayo Daejon, performance)
Samdong and Hyemi - Maybe (Dream High, drama)
Wooyoung - Beggin (Dream High, drama)
GD and TOP - Don't Go Home (Inkigayo, performance)
GD and TOP - Baby Goodnight (Knock Out,
album)
Humming Urban Stereo ft. Yoo In Na - You, that day. (Standing Egg, album)
Epik High - Owls. Shadows. Tears ([e], album)
J - French Toast (French Toast, single)
Big Bang - Cafe (Tonight, album)
Ishq Hua (Aaja Nachle, OST)
A-mi - Sunshine Love (Acoustic Version)
AJ Rafael - We Could Happen (single)
Nigahiga.Kevjumba and Chester C - Shed a Tear (Rocketeer parody)
David Choi - By My Side (By My Side, album)
U-Kiss - 0330 (Bran New Kiss, album)
Barbara - 내버려둬 (Leave me alone, single)
Dalmation - Real Eyes (Lover Cop, Album)
Block B - Wanna B (Do you wanna be, single)
10CM - 오늘밤은 어둠이 무서워요 (I'm afraid of the dark, single)
흐른 - 그렇습니까 (Really?, White Christmas OST)

Icons

RESOURCES: Hushkpop | Kpoptown | Cablegraph | Reviviscent | Shoe gazing | apartial | Tortes | nuagedeau | Jaded Lights | Dazzlebox

movies

Hawking (youtube)
Mr. Nobody ( ★, ♠ )
August Rush ( ♠ )
Inception (HD)
Howl's Moving Castle
Social Network (HD)
Shakespeare in love
500 Days of Summer ( ★, ♠ )
Gulliver's Travel
The Green Hornet
Definitely, Maybe
Easy A
Flipped ( ♠ )
Paper Hearts
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Sound of Music
It's Kind of A Funny Story ( ★ )
Aaje Nachle
When Five Fell ( ★ )
These Four Walls
Magika
Orient Express
The Places We Should've Gone
Muallaf ( ♠ )
Surf's Up
Strangers, again

HD : HIGH DEFINITION
♠ : I have the CD
★ : Favorite

Series

Jungle Fish Season 1 ( ✽ )
Jungle Fish Season 2 ( ✽ )
Grey's Anatomy Season 7 ( ☁ )
Glee Season 2 ( ☁ ) (total disappointment)
Black Butler Season 1 ( ☀ )
Dream High ( ☁ )
My Princess ( ☁ )
Secret Garden ( ☁ )
2NE1TV Season 2 ( ✽ )
Funemployed ( ✽ )
Wongfu Weekends Season 1 ( ✽ )
Wongfu Weekends Season 2( ☀ )
Technology Ruins Romance ( ✽ )
Up In da Club ( ✽ )
Just A Nice Guy ( ✽ )
Eat Your Kimchi ( ☀ )
Technology Ruin Romance ( ✽ )
Rick's Man Tutorial ( ✽ )
White Christmas

✽: COMPLETE
☁: HALF WAY/DISCONTINUED
☀: ONGOING
Events

Driving
Cooking(failed)
Cross-stitching
Patch work
Quilt-making
French Class
Ice-skating
Roller-coasting
Pharmacy Assisting
Selangkah ke UiTM

Books

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynn Jones
Orlando by Virginia Woolf
Stingarden by Sinaganaga
Lelaki Berkasut Merah - Bakhruddin Bekri
Inconstant Husband - ?
Gentlemen and Players
Pieces Of You - Tablo

Places

Jakarta, Indonesia
Seoul, Korea
Kelantan, Malaysia

A lonely, unpunctual Raya

2011-05-22T05:30:00.001+08:00

I was in Kelantan for the past week, and I had successfully been offline during that whole period. (Applause), so this trip, wasn't like any other trip to Kelantan before, it kind of felt like Raya, cause I met like every single relative that lived within Kelantan grounds, and slept at various places aside from my grands, so it was a different experience compared to the usual balik kampung tido rumah nenek, shopping pasar jumaat, balik Shah Alam.

If I write every single moment of my 7 day trip, then it would be super long, and I'm not in the mood for lengthy post right now. So, enjoy these shots from the second floor of Pasar Wakaf Bharu, during Pasar malam bearly opened time.

A conversation with a pirate CD seller

"Abe, Ado Kongsi dok?"
"Mano ado lagi, tok tubik lagi"
"Tubik doh maring dulu"
"Baru tubik panggung, narat ado doh CD, nasaboh dio!"

lolll

Staying home

2011-05-12T16:06:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to blog about this subject for a very long time, and I think this period of time is the most relevant, since I might not be able to be in that situation when Foundation starts.

As you all know, I started going to public school in Form 3, and that means I'm home like all the time. My older sister, Qilah, and my younger sister, Una, are away from home, so that leaves me with my other younger sister, Maryam, and my younger brother, Ahmad.

True, at times I do feel the burden of being the eldest. I kind of feel the urge of giving advice and care for their well being, despite the fact that I myself am not that well off. But hey, if someone had to be perfect before giving advice to other people, then, even parents doesn't have the rights to give advice to their own child.

The more people I knew, the more families I've been introduced, and the more I'm curious of how an order has a personality influence. There's something about the second child that I can't seem to ignore. It's always the second child that's the most rebel, or different, or curious, or causes the most trouble. It's called the second child syndrome, you can google it. And me being a second child trying to be a 'first born' is like...defying nature. I mean, it's not as if I'm being a first born, it's more like a...second child being in charge. I just do things differently. I've never mentioned this before, but me and Qilah are like two very different personalities. I know we're family and all, but we never survived being together in a period of time without fighting. It just...happens. We have different opinions in EVERYTHING. Especially consolation. When we fight, like if I was upset, I want a moment for myself, a moment of silence, to get all these words and emotions in my head to cool down, I don't want any interaction with anybody, I don't want people asking me "Are you okay?" I don't want people telling me "Don't Cry". in other words, tak suka dipujuk. Qilah just NEVER gets that point. She'll always sit beside me and talk non-stop and it's freaking smothering. She on the other hand, wants to be consoled, she wants to hear those words of consolation, and I just don't like doing it. I don't even know how to.

See how different we are? But I have no grudge on her, no, she's been away from home since she was Form 1, and that's like...8 years, so she can't possibly understand my mind, I bet she's trying to, but failing miserably. But honestly, deep down- reaaa~l deep down, I love her. I just have a very hard time expressing it.

So that's being the eldest, next, being alone.

I finish school at 1 PM, on Fridays, 12.30 PM, my brother and sister on the other hand, finishes school at 4.00, they get home at about 4.30, so during that period, I feel like an only child. So what does it feels like, being an only child? One word: Awesome!!!

It's not that I'm wishing that my other 4 siblings magically disappeared, it's just that their absence gave room for me, mentally and physically. I mean, I no longer need to be the eldest of anyone, I'm just me. And my parents give their whole attention to me, so there's no comparison of me and the others, and it feels so comfortable having conversations, just the three of us. And believe it or not, I get a bit...manja. I don't know why, but I tend to be like that whenever I'm alone with both my parents or just one of them. Sometimes I get treated to lunch or dinner, sometimes shopping, sometimes just following a conference or a meeting. The 'only child moments' are much longer since school ended, so I'm kind of pretty used to it by now, but I'm not attached to it. Like I'm not willing to kill my siblings for this lifestyle, but it's best to live it til it lasts.

Last but not least, I get to know things that my sisters doesn't know, sometimes when things happen, I'd be one of the first to know, which is ironic because I'm not the type of person to stay alert for breaking news, but since I'm living in the news, I see it in a different perspective. You know, it's like if a raid happened in Malaysia, the Malaysians living overseas, could only know it by listening the news, but they're not experiencing it.

Bottom line is, staying home has a lot of perks, and it wasn't a bad choice. I never regretted it. I'm teased a lot, because of that fact, but truthfully, if I were to choose, asrama or berulang, I would definitely choose berulang. There's no place like home and what's a home if you're not living in it? Since UIA starts at the end of this month, I might be away from home for a while....but PJ and Shah Alam are fairly close I think I might go home every week XD

Bonda

2011-05-08T01:28:00.002+08:00

It's that day of that week of that month again. Mother's day~~ (applause) In conjunction of this special event, I would like to voice out my thoughts on motherhood. just read on, you'll understand.

Mothers are sensitive creatures- I'm not referring to women in general, because Mothers are like a specific group within women which I consider different. It's like, when a woman starts changing their status from a 'Married woman' to a 'Mother', she's more than just a woman, she just brought life to the world, and this group of people tend to feel, act, and react the same. Motherly instincts, ring a bell?

I guess it's just so common to hear "Aku takleh ar, mak aku marah nanti" "Kalau mak aku tau, bebel smpi Subuh." Even if you ask a friend to hang out, if they say "Mak aku tak kasi" , then the meeting's automatically off. It's just such big of a deal, the role and impact of a mother, that I had to clear my mind, be calm, and it just came to me, "Hey, mak aku remaja gak dulu" She went through the same phase as I am, struggling through...similar problems, and probably made stupid(er) mistakes like I did. But why does it feels as if she never went through all that? Like, I can't imagine my mother skipping school, hanging out at some mamak stall, drinking up a fuzzy grape soda staying alert for teachers on patrol (not that I did any of those), but yeah, I just can't imagine my mother doing anything breaking the rules. Since she always tell me to abide them, I just can't imagine her being scold by my grandmother about those things.

I guess that's my problem with my mom. Everyone has problems with their mother in different aspects. And for me, my mother never talks about her mistakes/flaws. In other words, she always talk about her perfection, you know, like "I never did that when I was your age!" "When Nenek scold me once, I never repeated that mistake again." "I never this...I never that" which is actually a good thing, if you try to rationalize. She wants her children to follow her footsteps, see her as a role model, and do the things that she did, and by telling only the good stuff, there is a possibility that I could be perfect. But the thing is, I don't believe in perfection, so that's a major problem.

Mothers are sensitive. I am a sensitive person, but my mother claims that I'm emotionless. So, if you know me, and you know how sensitive I am, so you can imagine how sensitive mothers are. I'm not saying that in a bad way. Mothers have the right to be sensitive. Isn't that's the whole reason of that birth surgery that every freaking motivational camp shows. I came up with a few reasons why they just HAVE to show THAT video.

Your mother endured THIS much pain JUST to have you
You do not have the rights to hurt this woman, and this woman has all the rights to be mad/scold/beat/nag at you
Whenever you hurt her feelings, they'll think about the pain of giving birth, and the worth of going through it all.
Just because you don't remember going through a very tiny hole that hurts the owner so much it feels like dying, doesn't mean you can ignore the fact that you did.

Bottom line is, she can make you feel like shit, and you don't even have the rights to fight back. I tell this to my brother and sister all the time, the way you treat people and how you react to their doings are different than how you should treat and react to your mother. So, when my mother says to me that I treat her like I treat my friends, I was a bit offended, because I don't. Really, I don't. When I say I'm trying to change, I really mean it. So Ummi, sorry if you feel that way, but I'm trying to change for the better, and that's the code for 'forget all those mistakes ever happened'

But that's the thing about mothers, they have a keen memory. They'll remember every single mistake that you did. Every single time you made her cry, and giving birth to you felt like yesterday. So they're like, emotionally imbalance, once you upset her, all these memories come rushing over, and she starts remembering things that aren't even relevant to the current situation. It sounds irrelevant, it sounds quite ridiculous, but there's nothing strange about that. That's just how mothers are.

I'm blessed. Rea~~ly blessed for having really cool parents. They never force me to do things that I don't want. They talk to me if I did anything wrong. They give great advice, and they have taught me a lot in life, and I've gotta give more kudos for my mom, because she does those things more than my dad. And sometimes, when I hear friends/colleagues/in facebook people talk about how bad their mothers are, it kind of hurts. So, I made this post dedicated for myself, to reflect on my relationship with my mother, and secondly, to tell all YOU guys who may or may not have treated your mothers in a way that upsets her (even when you find that situation supposedly un-upsetting at all), I've got something to tell you: NOT COOL! In fact, it's lame. And just like how Amani told Mr. Miserable in Muallaf, "You shouldn't talk to your mother like that!"

They might be annoying sometimes, gets on your nerves, but at the end of the day, when you're alone and scared in the dark of the night, who's the one person on your mind? Who's the one person you call out even though she can't hear?

I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting teary eyed, so I'm gonna finish this off with a gif that would express my feeling towards my mom. *wipe tears*

Ummi, I love you (said with all the love emotions I have ) .

Update

2011-05-06T13:23:00.002+08:00

Just a quick update cause I'm hanging out with Aifa in a bit, so um, here goes

First of all, Seoul was DAEBAK!!! Went to all the places I wanted to go, (Picasso Street was fabulous btw) bought most of the things I wanted (PIECES OF YOU!!!!!) and I had a lot of conversations with local people and tourists alike. It was a fun experience. Photos have been uploaded on facebeook. Here, here and the ole-oles here. I'd probably right an epicly long post for Seoul, but not now.

Next, I got into UIA!!!! Well I'm not IN it yet, but I got in. UPU results just came out about an hour ago, and everyone's still updating on Facebook, so yeah, I got UIA. And to show how legit this is,

This comp cannot screencap web pages, so my handphone's handy in this situation. FYI, UIA was my first choice. My second choice was UM, in Sains Fizik, and my third was UiTM diploma in Computer Science. I've gotta say that I'm happy that I' gettin in, but also worried at the same time knowing that I have to brush up my rusty Arab.

Last but not least, I have two functions to attend this week. One is Majlis Anugerah Pelajar Cemerlang 2011 Kawasan Dun Kota Anggerik-N40 which is tonight, and I heard a lot of my friends were invited as well (with an exception of Akah, weirdly she was uninvited) and tomorrow's Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang Sek. Keb. Seksyen 7, so...yeah, I'll be seeing the same faces tonight and tomorrow. Excited for that.

Excited for everything to be quite honest.

Alhamdulillah is all I can say to express my gratitude and excitement

Backpackers

2011-04-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

Backpacking to Korea, independently.
Excited.

Oh God, help us there.

Guide us towards the right direction,

protect us from any harms being,
give us ease to find halal food,
and remind us always to remember you.

Amin.

Last Day

2011-04-28T19:06:00.000+08:00

I intended to write a super long post about the Pharmacy, the ups and down being in it, and the experience of being surrounded by the people working in it. But time is short, and I need to start packing for tomorrow, so, next time maybe :)

So it started with a pill.

2011-04-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

I think this story deserves to be heard.

There was this woman, she stepped in the pharmacy, and had this worried look on her face. By her look itself, I kind of sensed that she didn't want a simple cough syrup or any of those medication. She was the one who spoke first "Saya nak tanya skit boleh?" Kamal was absent today, and if I was alone, I would've panicked, but K.Hanis was there, so I asked the woman to consult with K.Hanis, and their conversation started with me listening by the side.

She pulled out a pill. White, oblong, packed in a transparent sealed plastic, with the only clue of identification is the '6800MG' mark on both sides. She started with a "What is this for?", and for the next 15 minutes, we were exposed to the dilema she was currently facing.

The story starts with the fact her husband is in the hospital, heart failure. Three chambers are blocked, and he's relying 20% on the remaining chamber left. He's taking all sorts of medication, but this one pill looks frighteningly suspicious. She found the pill in a very hidden place, while tidying up his stuff in the hospital, and she saw him ate it once, in a manner as if he's trying to hide the fact he's consuming medication that she does not know about. She's worried, because the packaging is suspicious, and the husband's 68 years old and still wants a child. She's assuming it's one of those Viagra generics with the purpose to 'you know what', but she wants a confirmation from an expert.

She was on the verge of crying, but she controlled her emotions well. She looks very decent and well mannered, and most importantly very worried about her husband's condition, and medication consumption and the reason for it all. She suspects that maybe THAT pill caused the heart problem, which is possible for a dose that high. I mean, even panadol has a 500mg dosage. Most of the strong pills in the pharmacy (and I've ever heard) has a dose within the range of 5mg til 800mg tops. 6800mg? That's quite...overwhelming. So it makes sense for a dose that high to become a 'drive' for something that is failing.

I tried googling drugs with high dosages, and most of them are like Viagra based, but does not look exactly like the pill that the woman showed, so I can't make a statement yet, but hopefully I can, and hopefully it helps that married couple for a chance of honesty.

Ashraaf Razib

2011-04-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

This is actually the first time I'm dedicating a blog post to someone who is not my family, and also not Tiqa, so don't take this wrongly, we're not super close or had a 'history' together, he's just a really good friend and somehow I just feel like blogging about him right now.

Ashraaf, or the name everyone's more familiar with: Acap. I first met him during my first day in Seven. I was being very nervous, I mean it was my first time in a public school, and a lot of people have a lot of speculations, and the classroom teacher, Ustz Ibnu Muez asked me to introduce myself, and I was stuttering and my voice was cracking and it wasn't loud enough, and people were like "Hah?Hah? Apa?Tak denga!" and then Acap spoke out "Korang takyahlah kacau dia." and then they were like transferring their attention to Acap, and Ustaz told me to sit down, then everyone just kind of forgot any of it ever happened. At that moment, I felt so thankful for this unknown stranger who has somehow saved me from that unwanted situation. That was seriously the coolest thing a guy has ever done to me during that time.

We didn't talk much throughout the years, but whenever we had a conversation, it was so comfortable that I kind of forget that we aren't even close to begin with. Somehow talking to him, all those stages doesn't matter. Like, you don't need to gradually be close to a person to have a conversation, all you need is just yourself. He makes everyone comfortable, that's his charm, he's the nice guy.

One of his abilities includes tarannum. He's really good in reciting the Quran, every time there's a tadarrus or opening recitation, he'll be the one to do it, and he does his job very well. There was one time Ummi followed me to an iftah at school and Acap was reciting, and I was like 'Ummi, I know this guy!' Lol, bangga.

One of the reason that makes me say he's the nice guy, is that he doesn't change. During Form 4, everyone's in different classes, and some even change and have new group of friends, which isn't a bad thing, is just that, when you start to ignore your old ones, it gets annoying. And when you start hanging out with the punks of the school, you start being one. Acap on the other hand, well, he's just that same old Acap whenever you see him, just more taller and bulkier than before. He always greet me whenever we meet in the hallways, he takes the seat opposite me if I'm sitting in the library and he has nothing to do. There was this one time, gotong royong perdana, and I ended up cheering up his classroom, well basically because Malin asked me to do Khat, for words that Acap provided with, and the three of us were in a conversation as if we were still in the same classroom together, it was so easy and unintentional.

We're not close friends, cause you don't need to be when it comes to admiring this guy. Even guys admire him, I mean he's head of KRS, so he has a lot of juniors looking up to him- respecting him for who he is, cause he totally deserves it and I totally understand why they do it: He's Acap

Acap: Naelah, Biru xcukup sorang je lagi untuk Chess perempuan, ko terror Chess kan? Esok kul 3 kumpul kat Kantin bawak RM3 untuk pendaftaran, kalau ko taknak, aku belanja ko, kawan takde hal. Aku dah puas cari budak untuk Chess, tolonglah aku. Kau boleh tak esok?
Naelah: Ermm... Acap, aku kuning!

LOLOLOL, I can't forget that moment, I was literally laughing so hard outside 5 Science 1 that I didn't even care the stares from the teacher and my classmates (he called me out during classes) , but I did end up helping him, by begging Farhana to participate in it. Lol.

In a nutshell, Acap's just this cool guy you always want as a friend- and I feel very grateful to have him as one.

Racism

2011-04-25T21:17:00.000+08:00

I live in a multiracial community, I go to a multiracial school, and I have multiracial friends. I don't find racism as something common since we're all people here, and even if someone did want to accuse someone else of racism, it would've been racist towards Chinese, or Indians... not black.

A black guy walked in the Pharmacy today, and for some apparent reason, I'm at the Pill counter, and so I walked towards him, and when he came closer, I walked backwards, like I always do, so that person can walk towards the counter to Kamal, and he can take over for whatever hard medication that I don't know about. But for some reason, this guy got offended by me doing that. He was like.

"Are you running away from me?....Because I'm Black?"

That was like the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, I literally laughed right there. I said "No, I'm sorry" and I walked towards him and asked what he wanted. He wanted a blood test which we currently cannot carry out because we don't have those strips, and I ended up telling the guy to go to another Pharmacy.

I find it very ridiculous for my first racist accusation to be a black community racism, because a lot of Black guys walk in our Pharmacy and we have no problem with that- I have no problem with that. I understand MediU is just around the corner, so a lot of Black guys are within the area.

I'm offended, Mr. Black guy, by your racist comment accusing me Racist. Even if I were running away from you, is because you look terrifyingly huge, not because you're black.

Blindfold.

2011-04-24T13:06:00.002+08:00

I know when I'm ready and when I don't. When I'm ready, I have the confidence to atleast try it out, like I can see it possible for me doing it. I'm not ready when I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and what do I do next. I know when I need a teacher, and when I don't. I know that I need to practice more, but in what way does it benefit, when I keep practicing something I'm pretty much clueless about. That's why I want someone to be beside me, and guide me throughout this clueless period, because I don't know how in the world does this bloody system works, I still don't get it. So when I ask some people to come teach me how it's done, and they say "Gi berlatih sendiri nuh!" It's bloody frustrating, and when I do go and try to practice, and try calming myself down, saying that everything's gonna be alright, just stay calm and just do it. When I screwed up, I get blamed "nok bowok keto sangat!" well the thing is, I don't. I don't want to drive a box that I can't feel its touch receptors. I don't want to do something that I'm not ready, but since they understand this whole thing, they assume that's it's easy for me.

Having a P using a kancil is different than trying imply all those teachings on a Honda. I wasn't taught to park using side mirrors, I was taught some cheating techniques on how to pass the parking test, using a kancil. Damn it, there's not even a book to study on how to drive. The books the driving school provided are all just about rules, and sign boards, and things to do when you're stuck in an emergency situation, which does not help at all when you can't drive in the first place.

It's like being blindfolded. You know those 'put the tail on the donkey' games or hitting the pinyata, you don't know where you're going, and that's how I feel when I park a car. I can't freaking see anything: the cars, the lines, the space, the car I'm in, and the whole possibility of clashing with one another. People keep saying to 'estimate' everything, when I can't even see. It's like getting a new set of eyes that you don't know how to use. I mean, I can see there's a car behind me, I see that I'm getting closer with it when I reverse, I just can't 'estimate' everything. I still don't understand how everything works, and I still feel blindfolded

A grandpa I never had

2011-04-22T00:48:00.002+08:00

I haven't blogged about my grandparents much. (Except that one time when we got unifi), so here's a pimp post *yay

Name: Hj. Hassan bin Hj. Ali
D.O.B: 21st April 19__

Okay, before anyone judges me for not knowing my grandfather's age, let me give my defense, he looks the exact same since I first saw him at the airport about 13 years ago, giving me a piece of hacks, til just a couple of weeks ago he came to Shah Alam. Same glasses, same grey hair, same crooked smile and...yeah, same smoking habits. He doesn't look old at all, since he doesn't uses a cane to walk, and he doesn't have hearing problems, and he doesn't talk slowly either. His age never mattered to me, he looks healthy as a bull, well a quite old bull, but seriously he seems very strong and healthy, knowing his age would just make me fear of losing him.

Atok's on my mom's side, and he's the only grandfather I have. I never actually got to know my grandfather from my dad's side, we call him Tok Ayah. He died when I was 6 or 7, at that time of age. And we never slept at Pasir Mas because of the space (it would be inconveniant for the other people living in the house) .We always slept at Wakaf Bharu, so I see Atok more that Tok Ayah.

Qeelah was the only one who attended his funeral, and tbh I do want to visit his grave at least once. I don't know why Abah never lets us follow him during raya, but I do hope he brings us with, one day. It's ironic how I've visited my great grandfather's grave once, with Una and Atok, but not my other grandfather. Even though he was a small part of my life, that doesn't change the fact that the blood running through my veins are related to his.

Moving back to Atok cool.

5 interesting facts.
1. He's really smart (really)
2. He likes to fix things
3. My loves watching Bollywood movies.
4. He looooooves football.
5. He's like a total replica of my mom.

Atok has a temper, just like any other human being, and he can be a bit harsh some times (I've never got scolded by him, but I've seen him in full rage) but when he's in a relaxed mood, he's just this cool guy that's fun to talk to. When I was in Form 2, I took a break from living in hostel, and stayed with my grands for the whole second half of the year. I go to school by bus (tambang) and go home the same way. Qeelah comes home like every two weeks or month, and stays for 2 or 3 days then go back, but I practically lived there for the whole semester, so sometimes I do know things that other people might not expect.

My mom looks up to Atok, sometimes I think just as much as I look up to my own dad. My mom's so similar to Atok, just as much as I'm similar to Abah. There are even times when I notice that their methods of sarcasm is the same. But at the end of the day, no matter how different or similar we are....we're family.

I gave this to Atok the other day.

It's a cigarette alternative hand gel, you scrub it on you hand whenever you feel like puffing some smoke, and it's purpose is supposedly be handling addiction, and I don't know if Atok even tried this, but that's a sincere gift from me. Atok asked me to buy the fake buns at the mall. You know those keychain buns that even smells like real buns, but actually aren't? Yeah well, Atok ordered me to buy some for him. He wants to prank his grandchildren. Lol.

On the phone call with him just now he said to me this,

Ifah bilo nok mari sini? Duk jauh gini, Atok buleh doa jelah, smaye hajat mitok cucu semuo sihat, selamat, berjaya dunio akhirat. Gini jelah kito usoho, takdok depe mato takpo, kito ikhtiar

Awww, Atok being all sweet and stuff =') Happy Birthday!

In the words of Wongfu

2011-04-21T17:28:00.001+08:00

Strangers. again was just released a couple of hours ago (after two weeks full of tease), and I like how the film was initially just a blog post, then Phil had imaginary thoughts in his mind which transfered the post from xanga, to the bronze screen (youtube) but the whole guideline is pretty accurate, and I believe Phil has achieved on pointing out stereotypical relationships and how they end up: marriage or break up. Even the format's different with narrations and time lapses. Over all: a thumbs up.

favourite quote form the short film, (somewhere after Stage 4)

I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, I’ll always remember when our past aligned for this period of time. And I’ll be thankful for that. And I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too. I think that’s the best we can wish for

also, found this on tumblr, wise words from Dr. Phil Wang, I think it's very inspiring.

Pain gives great potential for you to do amazing things.
Friends come and go, but it doesn’t make any of them less valuable while they were with you.
The same way you embrace joyful and happy moments…embrace the suffering and difficult moments too.
Most of the things that we think are a “big deal” in our daily lives, probably are not.
Our parents are a LOT smarter than we thought.
Everyone should experience heartbreak at some point. I believe it’s healthy and part of growing up.
Years really do get shorter and shorter, don’t waste them.
..and contrary to #7… Take your time to figure out yourself and life. There is pressure, but remember #4.

Strangers, again

Newly furbished.

2011-04-20T17:00:00.000+08:00

Half of my room.

Honesty, isn't the best policy tbqh

2011-04-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

I think lies does play its role that is quite positive. I believe that all of us are rude, messy, and ugly, but we don't want to be, or rather, we don't want to be looked down upon. We can curse all we want, but we have a choice to filter those bad words out of our mouth and keep it for ourselves.

It's not a matter of hippocracy, it's a matter of ethics. Nobody wants to be proper, people just want to appear proper, there's a big difference and a thin line between those two contradictory words. People think they can do everything they want, like not wearing tudungs and stuff, in reality, we're slaves- God's slaves, and He has the rights to tell us what to do. As much as we don't want to, there are the wajib things we have to abide.

You know the time when people stop lying and show their true self? When they're mad, or sad, just emotionally unstable. They don't filter anything from their mouth, they just let everything out, and me realizing that, sometimes find it quite funny. I'll laugh unexpectedly when someone's angry. That's when the truth comes out.

My point is, truthfully there are things we refuse to do, refuse to say, but, keeping it to ourselves doesn't makes us liars, it just means that we're cautious of people's opinion that are full of flaws.

In my opinion, keep lying, unless that person can accept the truth. When I watch movies or read books, I get quite annoyed when the girlfriends wants an honest guy that tells them nothing but truth, when they obviously can't handle the truth. My reaction:

Girrrl, u crazy!

When married men look at younger woman, and the wife gets jealous "Is she prettier than me?" obviously not, but if you tell the truth there, your marriage is at stake. Sometimes you have to lie. A white lie.

People always say 'Nobody's perfect' , but nobody actually accepts imperfection. Perfection is a quality only God deserves, so why do people expect it from human beings? People are so obsessed with perfection, that everytime someone else makes mistake, they'll point it out with full rage. In their defense, we've' done those mistakes before and we're supposed to not do it again.

But perfection does not come after being pointed out imperfect. I'm not saying that we should be forgiven everytime we make mistakes, it's just that, mistakes aren't on purpose, we're trying to be less imperfect than yesterday, and being mad about it won't change what's done.

So yeah, Honesty isn't the best policy. It's a good one, but not the best. Sometimes you need to lie.

Thank you

2011-04-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

Thank you. It's under rated.

I don't take thank you that seriously. Scratch that, I didn't take thank you seriously. To me, it was like soemthing to say when people do something to you, or give you anything, or simply to end a conversation. It was that missing link, sort of like -lah in a sentence, you can't explain its existence, but it's needed. It's there, because it feels like something's missing without it.

Thank you isn't supposed to be like that. Thank you actually means something. Equivalent to I love you, it holds emotion. It's to show your gratitude, and people use it too much that it doesn't mean as much as it's supposed to.

Same case with apologies. Apologies exist to say that you regret your actions, that you've done wrong, and you want forgiveness. It's supposed to be a symbol of regret. To say 'I'm sorry' requires a lot of courage and a hurtful pride. Like, if you accidentally did a huu~ge mistake, and you can't do anything to undo that mistake, you can give money, you can say anything, but nothing's going to change anything, and at the end of the day you realize, begging for forgiveness is the only thing sane to do, it's the right thing to do. And when people say "Maaf? Maaf je? Maaf semua settle la?" They're missing the point. Forgiveness is supposed to make things right, but the words "I'm sorry" is over used that the meaning fades away.

You bump someone in the streets "Sorry" , you accidentally gave the wrong dish "Sorry" , Flight got delayed "Sorry"

So saying "Sorry for your lost" kind of feels like it means nothing, when it's supposed to mean everything.

Thank you, supposedly expressing gratitude. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Bahasa brings 'thank you' to a whole new level.

English and Arab are quite similar, Thank you and Syukran meaning gratitude. French, I'm not quite sure about the Merci thing, it sounds like "You got me begging you for mercy (yeah, yeah)" but it doesn't necessarily originates from that word, or vice versa.

Bahasa on the other hand, terima kasih. If you translate it roughly to English it goes 'Please receive my love'

Now tell me, by all means, what's the difference between 'Please receive my love' and 'I love you' ?

Every time we say terima kasih, we're actually offering our love, that's how thankful we are, but how many of us actually mean it?

And when we say 'sama-sama' basically means , 'Have my love too!' . Malaysian are actually....romantic?

I had the thought to blog about this because I read a book the other day. One guy says "Terima Kasih!" and the other one says "Kasih diterima." which made me see this whole exchange of 'gratitude' in a different angle.

I used to take thank yous pretty lightly. If anyone says thank you to me, I'll reply with "emm" , or "ok" . I remember Monsieur saying how French don't have that mumbles when replying Merci. "When you say Merci, people expect you to reply Je t'en prie, not simply mumbling 'emm'" which was exactly what I did.

So nowadays, when I'm at the counter, and a customer comes in. pays everything, and about to walk out, I mumble 'Terima Kasih' and when the customers say 'sama-sama', I feel this unexplainable joy inside me. Same goes to the phrase itself.

TERIMA KASIH!

Kasih diterima

Rage!

2011-04-18T17:55:00.000+08:00

Temuduga Biasiswa akan diadakan pada 29 hb. April pada pukul 2 petang

Your flight to Seoul is on 29th April 2011, 1.00 PM

well, I hate to disappoint you, but...Seoul wins.

on Vimeo.

Weird

2011-04-17T01:47:00.001+08:00

"Minta maaf, permohonan anda untuk menerima dana Biasiswa Karangkraf ditolak kerana pendapatan rumah yang tidak menepati syarat-syarat kami."

a few days later...

"Tahniah, anda telah diterima sebagai calon untuk menerima dana Biasiswa Karangkraf. Sila taip DAPAT ke 123456 untuk panggilan temuduga"

"Tahniah, tarikh temuduga akan dimaklumkan kemudian"

You're kidding me.

This

2011-04-15T01:29:00.002+08:00

just had to post this. Saw this on Tihoh's tumblr.

Long call distance

2011-04-13T19:27:00.001+08:00

I've never called anyone from outside of Malaysia before, so I never knew the rates per minute. Since Ummi gave the responsibility of booking hotel rooms during our stay in Korea, I've been having quite a hard time finding a suitable room for the night. We just wanted to book a room for the night, and the next 5 days, we'll find a motel.

Note to anyone travelling with a budget: Get a hostel, or a guest room. The rates are really cheap, and the facilities looks nice, and the reviews are all very positive. But I had a few inquiries about the rooms. I mean what's a 'mixed dormitory'?

So I resorted to call this hostel, and at times like this, as always, the home phone starts making trouble and you get a "Sorry, the number you dialed, is unavailable" , I was quite reluctant to call using my phone, since I don't know the rates and all, but I eventually did.

I was greeted by a "Yeobesaeyo" and I paused for 5 seconds before replying, "Hello, is this Hongdae Hostel?" and the guy started to speak English, which I must say, quite good. He didn't have an accent, and he explained mixed dormitory very well. And unknowingly I said

"So basically it's a room shared by strangers lah?"

Eh, my malanglish coming out all of a sudden. Lol.

At the end I conclude, RM1.50 for 3 minutes, so 50 cents per minute.

Excuse you.

2011-04-11T21:27:00.004+08:00

Excuse my a-bit-too-emo-for-internet post I did yesterday. I get depressed whenever someone mentions motivational camp. It triggers some bad memories I wish I could forget.

Add that annoying consultant on the list, and I get an overall bad week (Ya, aku masih terasa)And I know I'm depressed when I refresh Tihoh's tumblr every five minutes....and listen to Fall Out Boy on repeat.

So, anyway, I took some pictures yesterday(period of depression) ,and I gotta say, this would be my favorite pic batch that I have ever captured using my phone, so...yeah, just wanted to share.

Puff some smoke

2011-04-11T00:12:00.002+08:00

*spot for some epic smoke philosophy

Talk about First Impression

2011-04-10T04:59:00.000+08:00

Worst First impression ever- totally unimpressed.

I wasn't supposed to be there, I didn't even WANT to be there. And suddenly I'm wrong for asking something completely normal. It's not being pessimistic, it's called rasionalizing, in case you haven't heard, not questioning something that people say to you is equivalent to dumbly receiving anything. Somehow, this 'business' has high moral values, and me refusing to join, makes me the bad guy.

"Kenapa anta sombong kepada kebaikan?"

plain ridiculous.

Thank you Ghandi

2011-04-10T04:43:00.002+08:00

Today someone ... unique came in the Pharmacy. There was this Indian old man-looks quite the same age as Atok- came in, asked for meds, and everything was pretty normal, til he caught me staring at a photo in his wallet when he was about to pay.

"This is me when I was young." he said, and I was like "Such a handsome young man." and Tyka came and said "But now you look like Mahatma Ghandi!" Lol. Since we were comfortably having the conversation, I asked him to place the photo next to his face.

If you notice, below that photo, there's another photo, and it was a woman. I asked "Is this your wife?" and he said yes. "So pretty~" and really, she was beautiful, and I didn't ask more, I have a feeling that she's already gone, and I fear to go near that subject.

It's amazing how time just flies, and you don't realize that you're changing, mentally and physically until you actually see the past, and see the difference itself.

It so happens that I just discovered Sri Al-Amin's fb page, and there were photos dating back to 10 years ago....and it's overwhelming, really.

One of the pictures was a very recent one, (from a reunion I guess) four guys, sitting, and seeing how different they were back then is already shocking, I kind of just recognized only 3 from the bunch. Cause I had contact with them before. Matin gave me a phone call a few years back, which reminds me, that was the funniest phone conversation I ever had. Terengganu accent talking to a Kelantan accent, I am telling you, we did NOT understand each other at all. 5 minutes were already wasted for each of us trying to understand the other person, which is insane because both of us said the same thing in different dialects.

"Mung pahang dok gedie aku kabo ni?Pekat Klatang mung, dok pahang aku. Acu kabo skoho skik"
"Gapo dio mg oyat ni, aku tok pehe! Pekat lajok ganu mung,"

So anyway, this mysterious fourth guy felt like Dejavu. I've never seen this guy, but for some apparent reason, he seems familiar. I was staring at his face for five minutes trying to scan all my classmates, and then I finally figured out who he is.

Oh Em Gee. Rizqal?

After a while I realized, he still looked the same, just a sharper jawline, bigger body, and heck lot of facial hair. I think that was what made him unrecognizable.

Sometimes I get jealous when my friends have pictures from their school days, tudung all senget, smiles all innocent, face all riang, and I....don't have much. So when I saw my 10 year old self on facebook, I'll be honest, I am pretty happy right now.

Guess which one am I. XD (the cutest la of course)

Unleashing the creepiness in me

2011-04-10T03:56:00.002+08:00

photogrpahy courtesy Naelah Nordin

capturing Puteh.

Race is race car la?

2011-04-08T18:43:00.001+08:00

I've been working for approximately....one month, and I have to be honest, I don't actually 'feel' that working experience yet, cause I still don't know what I'm doing. When people ask for meds, I'd be okay if it's for cough or flu, or any simple sickness that needs a simple medication. But when they ask for consult, they show their rash, or their bruises, or ask for medication that I don't know of, I tend to panic and ask for anyone there for help. I feel pathetic, really, since I'm like gaping for a branch, when supposedly I should have grabbed it already.

But the people are a nice variety to observe upon. It's amazing how different people are, yet how similar their medical needs are. I really like it when I see married couples come in, and talk comfortably with each other, the wife asks opinion from the husband, the husbands rationalizing in that worried situation, picking things on the shelf. I watch married couples in tv, I read married couples in books, but to actually observe them in reality, is a fascinating task that I enjoy doing.

There was this one couple that quite stood out. An inter-racial marriage. The wife was malay-chinese, she looked very mix, and the husband was an Indian. They were very nice to talk to, they seem happy, and it's just....I just like how the chemistry going on between the two really shines, and it's very inspiring to see a real inter-racial married couple talking very comfortably. It kind of felt as if Yasmin Ahmad would appear any second. Lol.

A name in any other word would smell as sweet.

2011-04-06T00:15:00.001+08:00

How many languages are there in this world? Compare that to how many sounds your mouth can make. It's an astounding number, I know, and I've been meaning to blog about this, since....ever, and now I'm finally getting my fingers to hit the keys, So embrace this lengthy post!

There are so many languages in this world. When you say one word, it may sound something else in another language, sometimes it might even mean cursing, so does that mean we should not use that word just because it sounds as a curse word in another language? i beg to differ!

Like, 'door' is 'باب' in arabic, and my door is 'بابي' which in malay, literally means 'pig' , so if I wanted to say 'my door' in arabic, then I shouldn't use بابي because it's considered cursing in malay. But who's speaking malay? And who's cursing anyone? It's just a door!

I've started thinking about this when everyone was being paranoid of 'Akum' or 'Askum' being acronyms. Acronyms, that's worse than Homographs.

Back then when the SMS culture, became such a hot topic, everyone was talking about short forms for greetings, in which the official one being Assalamualaikum. Some did Akum, some did Askum, and people kept talking about Akum having a different meaning, that it's the jewish acronym (Akum = Avde Kokhavim U Mazzalot) which means Hamba-hamba binatang dan orang2 sesat. At first I was like :O , then I was like ;/ Acronym? Isn't that like initials of certain phrases, forming a word... anybody can do that right?

I saw a pamphlet the other day which says PHD, and everyone knows it stands for Doctor of Philosophy....but in that pamphlet it wasn't. It stood for 'Pizza Hut Delivery'. Yup, Pizza Hut making an acronym- trying to be funny I guess, or looking educated, I don't know what they were trying to imply, but my point is, anyone can do acronyms- yes, even the jews.

There was even this, acronym generator, it was quite popular back then. You just put in a word, and it would give random acronyms from certain like-able traits that people like to hear. I never did one, but a lot of people put their name in, and posted the acronyms on their friendster page.

So everyone was telling other people, to start greeting people with 'salam' if you want to make it short. And then about two months ago, there was this article about 'salam is not appropriate' and the moment I read it, I was like ;(

The thing about 'kirim salam kat dia' , is that people focus too much on the language. I don't know about you guys, but I, for one, think that the intentions are much more important than the language itself. If I see someone, and we talk about some people that was not there, and when we depart, I wanted to 'kirim salam' tell them I said Hi, that I care.

And when people kirim salam to me, I don't need a 'kirim salam Assalamualaikum kat ko.' to know what that person means. Just a simple 'kirim salam' and I'll reply by 'Waalaikumussalam'. It's culture, and who cares if it's grammatically incorrect? I know that person wanted to wish peace upon me, and I'm wishing that person back, but without that person in present. It's like a late reply. Why should it be a big thing? It's not like we don't understand the message.

In my opinion, language is there, to allow us to communicate. It's not the only medium of communication, but it can express a lot of things. And in my dictionary, communicating means one person giving a message, and the other person understanding it, thus communication has took place.

So I don't care if a short form, becomes an acronym of something bad, or some words I say means something else in other languages, or the fact that the sentences I use is grammatically imperfect, as long as the person I'm trying to communicate understands the message that I'm trying to say.

Akum tak boleh, Askum tak boleh, kirim salam tak boleh, bye tak boleh (bawah naungan pope, an acronym as well I suppose)

At the end of the day...we just want to greet people, to have something to say the moment we see people, shouldn't be that complicated.

In the words of ustaz Mahdi,

Kito kecek bahaso Melayu, buke Bahaso Yahudi. Niat molek, nok ore tu sejahtero, buke nok dio jadi hambo nate gapo pun.

--

Also, one of the reason I'm blogging this, is because someone commented about my brother pimp post a few months ago. I used the word 'dork' to caption my brother, and this person e-mailed me about how dork is the word for A whale penis, and she told me to change the word, and I refused to do so, and then she accused me of being 'oghe kuat nyappung' which means.....I'm not gonna say it, if you're curious enough, go ask a Kelantan person. For sure, it doesn't mean 'good'

I've got one word for you: Homographs!

I've checked Dork in the dictionary, and it has two meanings

1. A dull, slow-witted, or socially inept person
2. A whale penis

And no, I did not mean my brother asa whale penis, but i mean him as a dull, slow-witted, or socially inept person. And I said before, for me, the intentions are more important than the language.

So, will I change that word?

A hawk!

2011-04-05T17:48:00.001+08:00

That moment when your friend, meets this person whom she never met before, who was introduced by this other friend, whom never talked in real life before.

Mahdi: Naelah, kenallah kawan baru!
Naelah: Er...nanti.
Tyka: (to Aina) ni Naelah.
Aina: Hi Naelah!
Naelah: *awkward smile*
moment of silence
Hilmi: ...awkward~

and really...it was very awkward

Aina: Nanti kirim salam kat Tyka
Naelah: Okay
Hilmi popping out of nowhere
Hilmi: Mana kawan baru?
Mahdi: Dah balik.
Hilmi: Really? Kesiannya. Leaving in an awkward situation.

The weird stuff to shed a tear about

2011-04-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

I was not stressed out over SPM. At all, I dare say, I was very calm and happy for most of the two years studying for it. And now when the results are out, all of a sudden I'm pressured to know where I'm going, asking scholarships, and filling forms.

I feel bummed. Cause I have a quite high Co-curricular GPA, I have a quite good SPM result, I have a quite disciplined record on behavior and I STILL can't have a scholarship.

Not complaining, just feeling a bit bummed- yes, quite the right word(and the only word I can thin of) which can explain my feelings right now: Down right BUMMED.

After Ummi explained about scholarships and how I don't fit the requirements (in other words: TAK LAYAK!) when she went out of the room, I suddenly felt the urge to let go off some tears (they were rushing to come out, I have nothing to do with it) It's ironic, how SPM did not pressure me, I don't remember at all crying because of the pressure, but suddenly now, I feel quite stressful.

BUMMMMED! .

Doraemon's pocket or Dora's bag?

2011-04-03T18:52:00.002+08:00

Doraemon is a part of my childhood memories, wait, scratch that, it's a part of EVERYONE'S childhood memories. Who doesn't know Fujio F. Fujiko? Well, he died, and he never published the ending.

Aqilah posted this on Facebook. I looked up on Google, and there's an unofficial ending for Doraemon. Someone made like a doujinka, which is like a fanfiction manga style. The drawings look very real, and it was published in 2005, and was unpublished in 2007. The artist who drew the part was sued for copyright issues, but the popularity of this ending did not die off.

After 'reading' it, I must say, this is quite the most suitable ending ever. I mean this totally did justice to Doraemon, and it's a very decent closure. It makes all the sense and finally, one of the greatest and oldest cartoons of all time...has an ending.

I really like how Doraemon's 'absense' was the drive to make Nobita work harder, and achieve success That was the only thing that made me dislike the whole series a bit: the stupidity and laziness of Nobita and how he depends a bit too much on a robot,And for this ending to change all that, how much awesome can it be?

FYI, the last lines are lines from the theme song. I can imagine if this was animated, the song would be like a ballad sad version of the cheerful song.

the ending made me speechless for 10 minutes

Mr. Pedo Cool

2011-04-03T16:41:00.001+08:00

I wanted to talk about my brother in this post. I wanted to talk about making mistakes, talk about chasing perfection, second child syndrome, how the first born's responsibility is shifted on me, and how different my methods and the real first born of the family's method is, some words of wisdom from Abah Din and my perception towards the whole thing.

But then I realized this rant would be too family-related, and inappropriate for non-family-members to read , so instead I decided to just not blog about it....and eat ice-cream

lol, pedo bear.

Mat Kool has been one of our topics of conversation last night. I work in a Pharmacy which sells medications, supplements, creams, and apparently...ice-cream. Sometimes when there are no customers, and I'm bored and sleepy, I buy an Mat Kool Icy Grape and suck on it while re-arranging the items on the shelves and stuff.

I boycott a lot of stuff, things like McD, KFC, Tesco, Dunkin Donuts, and when I said I have an undying love towards Mat Kool Icy Grape, Tyka said "Tak boycott ke?" in that sarcastic tone.

And I was like..."Mat Kool bukan melayu ke yang buat?"

So yeah, Nestle is inetrnational, but Mat Kool is only available in Malaysia right? I mean look at the name.

Why is it malanglishly 'Kool' rather than 'Cool'? Why is it the traditional Malay common name 'mat' rather than the preferred cooler 'Mr.'? If you say Paddle pop is made by the westerns, I would believe cause the name itself makes proper sense. But Mat Kool is just a Malay thing. Idk, to think that the Chinese made Mat Kool? I don't think they even understood Malanglish back then. Mat Kool has been around for decades, and to suddenly merge as the boycotted products....I can't deal with that.

I miss blogging

2011-04-01T04:22:00.000+08:00

A lot have happened, and I have a lot to say. But I guess I have to keep it to myself first, before bursting it open when I have the time to even do so.

So I'll just blog about something fairly recent.

Had a heart to heart talk with my only brother in the world.

I didn't want to sound too serious, but at the same time, I didn't want him to ignore what I say. Everything was totally improvised, and I was so into it that I didn't realize an hour just passed.

I want to talk more about this, but that's just it for now.

(lol, me as Sunggyu, and Ahmad as Sungyeol...tickled my mind a bit. )

Maybe I watched too many television

2011-03-28T23:22:00.001+08:00

You know, tv shows nowadays require lots of extras. They need a lot of extras in different episodes, stuff like CSI, Grey's Anatomy, Criminal Minds, Mentalist, House MD. I mean, you can't go chasing around the same killer all the time, and it's not like you're a team dedicated to one family, there will be a lot of extras, and the thing about extras, most of them has acted before, and when you see someone similar, you'll be like.

Hmmm..... he looks familliar?

OMG IT'S THAT POWER RANGERS GUY!

HE'S A RAPIST!!!!!!

Yeah, well, I know, they're called actors, they're not really the chosen ones with a coloured suit and a cool watch and can change their clothes with a press of a button, but I was pretty heartbroken knowing he played a rapist. Talk about ruining my childhood memories! One of my heroes turned to be some bapak ayam selling prostitutes? You know, it's like watching Superman playing this hobo in a Fantastic Four movie. It's just wrong~~ Hey it's that gay guy, now his wife's dying and needs a transplant. Oh, that museum doctor who went out with Phoebe, he's now an Egypt King. Hey, it's that guy in avatar, he's now a father of a triplet, whom were given birth by his own sister. Oh it's Wyatt, Leo's son. Now he's a Shakespeare warrior, oh and he's also a forensic doctor in that CSI show. Oh, that's Lizzie McGuire's brother, he's a....RAPIST? WHATTT???

It's just...I just....can't take this feeling of being deceived

Grandparents in the building!

2011-03-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

So Atok and Nenek was within Shah Alam grounds the whole week. At first, when I heard they were coming, I was like "Do they have to come on the exact day I'm getting my results?" but they were being so awesome and supportive, like when I got home, Atok was all "Tahni-ah, Tahni-ah!" and Nenek went "Lagi pandai dari Kak Long!" XD LOL, in yo face Qilah!

Atok rummaged my drawers, a habit similar with his daughter's (eh, mak sapa tu agaknya?) and he found my Chess Championship medals, and somehow his youthful competitive spirit lived up, and he challenged me to a game of chess, which became a few rounds. In the end, it was a close call, I won 3 rounds, he won 2, and one tie, but Atok the awesomest was being funny all the way "Ifah nok gi mano tu ifah? Ifah~ nok make gapo gi situ? Eh, dio make menteri kito. Xleh, keno oyat nok make tu!"

LOL

We got Unifi! Yipeeee~

I was all excited when Ummi decided to get Unifi, coz that Unifi dude was saying that the bandwidth is 5 times bigger than streamyx, and I would really love that. And sdenly it came with a VIP set. Video, internet and phone. I'm okay with the call-tm-free thingy coz, I don't actuall use it that much, but the video part left me skeptical. It was like this TV cable with 50 channels, but it wasn't astro. It doesn't have those astro packages, and when it was installed, Ummi announced, she's considering to cancel Astro subscriptions.

That's ridiculous. I feel more betrayed than the moment Astro cancelled my Kirana just to add the 12 new channel packages. I am lost for words. FOUR words: What the hell wasthat?

Okay, kidding, I'm not that mad, I don't even watch tv nowadays. I didn't actually feel the lost, since most shows can be watched on the internet anyways, but I did feel the betrayal ='( sobs.

Atok wanted to watch this channel, Al-Hijrah, he said it can only be wtached in Trengganu and KL. I, being this frog under a modern tempurung, doesn't know what that is, but for sure, there wasn't any channel with that name, on unifi. So Atok was pissed for a while, went downstairs and puffed some smokes.

Then 10 minutes later came back upstairs and watched Upin & Ipin

then he watched spongebob Squarepants.

Lol, my adiks were even watching Wonderpets- in Bahasa!

So it's kinda weird. Hearing the music I went "What's gonna work?" and then my adiks were singing "Kerja~sama!" and I wa slike "O~~kay." weird.

Isn't it my choice?

2011-03-27T17:14:00.003+08:00

You know when people ask little kids, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and the kid answers cheerfully with the brightest smile sprawling on his/her face "I want to be just like my dad!"

Well, I'm not that kid. In fact, my opinion about them, is that they're narrowing their options a bit too much. When I was a kid, I believe that there are too much jobs in this world but too little people knowing it, and I was quite sick of hearing the same answers over and over again. "Teacher...Doctor...Engineer.." we weren't exposed too many options, these were the only occupants we knew, and plus our parents' job.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be something aside from all that, you know, I wanted to be something aside from my parents' job, not that I have any grudge with anything that they do, I just think, that we need more variety, and I don't want to see my parents' job as the only option I have. And knowing that doing my job properly, means loving my job to the extent I want to do it every single day.

I noticed I like art. Art fascinates me in a way that makes me think, that art is a limitless medium of expression that stretches to infinity. I really like art, but years pass, and I notice that me liking art is as far as i can go, that's just it. I like art, I'm not good at it. I can just appreciate it, like a high taste critique giving reviews. Like how Simon Cowell critiques about people singing, that's just it. He has the expertise to evaluate someone's singing, but he can't sing himself. Appreciation is the only thing I can afford when it comes to art.

It was hard to find my true passion, but I finally did, (at least I think I do), and somehow it's the same as my dad's. I have a fond towards numbers and computers, and the only field that makes sense to me, is computer science. It's not that I'm choosing this course, because of my dad. I always wanted this course, and my dad coincidently happened to be in it. He's not a reason, he's just there because of fate. And fate has nothing to do with my choice (or so that's what I think)

Somewhere, deep inside, I fantasize myself as a female, islamic, shorter version of Bill Gates (Hey, a girl can dream right?)

Let the hacking begin! .

talk about procrastination

2011-03-27T14:46:00.000+08:00

Drumrolls please!

2011-03-24T03:46:00.002+08:00

So the results are already out. I didn't get something that made me do this

but it didn't make me do this either

Curious? Well I've got one word for you!

ALHAMDULILLAH

--
Okay, actually I got tons of words to say, so I'm just gonna say it witht he help of gifs to have a more detailed expression, and this is gonna be superlong, and I'm just gonna do it.

To be honest, I felt just a tiny bit of disappointment when it was announced only one person got 10As, and only one person got 9A's and 1B, but then again it was kind of expected. The night before I thought of all the possibilities, and I took a vow to myself, that no matter what my result would be, I'm just going to have to

Ever since after the exams, I wanted a straight A+ result, but then again

I made an educated logical reliable prediction of my results, judging by the variables which consists of my feelings after answering the papers (and also, my metaphorical gut), I was pretty confident about getting A+ in 8 subjects, but the other 2 subjects kind of worried me. I was very disappointed about my Physics paper. I can't remember if I ranted about Physics or not here, but i rea~~ly screwed up. The questions were acceptably easy, but somehow I made mistakes, and it was a lot, so I wasn't expecting it to be an A, I apologised to Cikgu Faris after that (but my Addmath is an A+ so I guess that cancels out the Physic's B, right? ;D) And as for Bio.....No1currrr

High hopes, but average expectations...and the expected,happened.

BM was also quite disappointing, I mean I puked out all the gramatis vocab in my head, I made 4 poems on the spot, and my long essay was 5 pages long, and the tatabahasa section was also quite easy, and to have one of the greatest BM teachers in the entire school(and probably whole Sekangor), average A looks pretty small than the A+ that we all wanted.

Even Pn. Rohana was busy finding a lighter to burn the result slips of whoever did NOT get an A in BM.

Okay, she was kidding (or was she?? hmmmm)

Chemistry, oh Chemistry. When i was in form 4, I sucked in Chemistry. It had the lowest score in my report card (right next to Bio). I didn't get Chemistry at all, so I resorted to change in Form 5. It wasn't an immediate change, but gradually I became better. I got the three most amazing teachers for Chemistry in Form 5, and I can't be happy without thanking them. So, thank you Pn. Zubaidah for scolding me after not doing my homework. Thank you Anisha, even though you wear shorts when teaching me(showing off your ~~hairy~~ legs, lol), but you explained a lot, and made me understood a lot of things that I did not yet was supposed to. Thank you Cikgu Hanafi, for giving lots, and I do mean lots, of detail about everything Chemistry that mostly were not in the text books or reference books. It was a great help, everyone helped me a lot, and I feel very thankful.

I was surprised for Sejarah. I had a lot of problems with it. And I resorted to 'berguru' with the pros, so I had several study meet-ups with Adilah at her house, or my house, and she rea~ly helped me with her notes, her explanations and I was inspired by how easy those words of history flowed from her mouth that it helped me a lot. And also a week before SPM, me and Farhana went to Akah's house for about 3 days in a row to cover all the topics of Sejarah. Akah and her analogies, do I even need to explain more?

And I just cannot leave out my parents out of this, my family in general but my parents in particular, because they have helped me a lot, with their encouragement, their prayers, their sarcasm, and their faith towards me (wait, did they have faith in me?....of course, I'm their daughter, deep down they knew i could do it....right?) but really, I do know how valuable parents' prayers are, so thank you a lot.

I've been thinking of this matter a lot, and I do realize long ago, that the moment I hold that slip, I'm not holding just my 11 years of effort, I'm holding victory, that was a joint effort of mine, and all the wonderful people I mentioned in this post, and all the teachers (that I did not mention), so yeah, what I'm trying to say is that, I don't want to be the only one taking credit for something that not me alone worked for, I want these people to feel victory and gratitude just as much as I feel right now, because honestly speaking, I don't think I could even get this far, without them butting in my life (which is a good thing)

I'm gonna wrap this SPM result stuff with something from Anwar Hadi, an inspirational speech that I find very true and motivating.

and now let's move on to the parrrtttaaaaaaayyy~

Abah and Ummi brought me to this fancy place for my congratulatory lunch, in which at that time, I was starrrving. I woke up at 10.40, was at school at 11, so yeah, I was starving, and Abah got us buffet

So this is my hypothesis. If you pay RM60 per person for a buffet, and you feel one meal is worth RM10, so you have to eat 6 courses lah to make it feel worth right? And that was exactly what I did.

Have you ever watched Mr. Bean, the one with him in the hotel eating oysters? I just ate those things. I was curious of how it tasted like, and my comment is: it feels like eating a breathing living squid- gross. I took 2, but Abah put 3 more, blurgh.

I kept going to the counters, browsing the food, taking new plates, replacing the used one. My drinking water was refilled 3 times, and the dessert....3 words: De. Li. Cious!

Overall, a pleasent day :)

The Awesome MJ kid.

2011-03-22T01:45:00.001+08:00

Out of all my friends, I think I blog about Tqa the most. Well, what can I say? She's too awesome.

Here's a trivia. I met Tqa on the first day of school. There were some errors in the students' classifications, so it was pretty hectic, and after a long tiring day of moving tables(which were wood) I sat next to this specy kid who has that chinese mata sepet look, and we talked, at that moment I didn't know that this person would be one of the most important people in my life.

My dorm was 4A, and hers was 9A(downstairs), and I constantly went to her dorm, went to the mosque together, went to prep together, and went to the rooftop together. The rooftop was our favorite hang out place, empty, abandoned, and serene.

In Form 2, we were a bit distant, cause we were in different classes and different gangs, so I felt guilty, like I was abandoning her when I really didn't want to. Those moments were the moments when I really missed her, like she was close, her room was just around the corner, but... somehow I didn't go see her. I always talk to her when it's the weekend, or school holidays, or when I wasn't living in the hostel anymore. It was a tough year, and whenever I was with her, it was like the sun shooing away the rainy gloomy feeling I had deep inside.

On my last day of school, it an exam day, and Nadhirah came up to me after it finished, she brought me to this lumpy paper bag and said it was for me, from Tqa. I asked her where she was, but she didn't know, and I asked other people, but nobody knew. In the end, I never met Tqa on my last day, I felt sad initially, knowing that I couldn't see her face for the last time because I really wanted to, but then I realized that it was a good thing. We never said goodbye to each other.

Since then, she always called me. Her calls wasn't actually often, but when it came, it lasts for an hour or more. Looking back, it was her who called me, and I never actually called her, cause, well, you can't gayut on the asrama phone, you can only gayut on the public phone. I remember once, we were talking, and then she paused for a while, and I heard her talking to someone else, "Lambat lagi ni, pegi tunggu dekat public sano nuh!" Oh Tqa, so precious.

I've been friends with her for 5 years and counting, but her parents' job are still a mystery to me. I mean, i don't know how many times I asked her to explain more about their jobs than just "Business", but even she couldn't explain what it was, and it doesn't matter much really. I just wanted to understand why she always move around, I don't think I ever have her permanent address. I know she lives in Melaka but she has other several houses, which I don't know where, and she when I ask her on Holidays, she's always at various places like her Grannies, her house, her other houses, or her uncle's place. But somehow, every year we always meet up.

Another thing that's amazing about her, is that she doesn't change, whenever I meet her, I always feel like a Form 1 again. Whenever I meet her, I'm always reminded of how things were 5 years ago. Aside from her height and physical appearance, by heart she's still that Tqa I know, relaxed, gullible and so simple.

Aside from my family, Tqa is the person who gives the MOST presents to me, that it's not even a joke, and sometimes I feel sort of jerk-ish, comparing the things i gave to her and the things she gave to me, is a very clear comparison. Let me list down everything she gave me.

not in chronolgical order

1. Blue T-shirt

2. 3D Cow mug

3. Flower memo clipper

4. Big Pooh Bear

5. Couple Watches (Mine was dark blue, hers was light blue)

6. Orange Diary

7. Fairy heart wand (LOL)

8. Big plushie paperbag

9. Dominos tissue

and the latest

10. Bed sheets

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I thought about it when I first heard about it too. "What? Bedsheets? You can't be serious?" I mean I would never have imagined giving bedsheets to someone as a present. It's kind of funny.

So it started like this, she came to my house, and since she's a special guest, I gave her my blanket, and she was like "Oh, lembutnya selimut ko, comel plak tu." I didn't know what to say, nobody ever complimented me on this before, and so I replied "Beli kat pasar tani, RM20" and then she started to talk about the trend of budak asrama. I don't know if this is like a universal thing, like every budak asrama is like this, or the wave is just at our school, but at my time, there was this trend in gifting, if you like someone, or if it's someone you care about, you give them bantal peluk like the square ones but with cartoons on it, or the cylinder one, also with cartoons on it, it kind of varies at what pattern you want on the bantal. So Tqa mentioned about the current trend , which is giving 'kakas tido' like selimut, sarung bantal, and the explained bedsheets. So now I sleep remembering Tqa every night XD

One thing that bothers me, about my whole relationship with Tqa, is that we never have a picture together. I don't know why, but whenever we meet, we never actually took a picture together. if we took pictures, it's either me taking a picture of her, or her taking a picture of me, it's funny but it's sad at the same time. I only have one picture with her, and that's 5 years ago, we were at the rooftop, we were laughing for some apparent reason, and Yashirah took a picture of us. It was candid, but it's old, i want to have a new one.

And about the Dominos tissue, even though it's just a napkin, but it meant a lot. She wrote on it, "Bittaufiq wannajah 10A+ SPM , ilysdm"so it's more than just a napkin to me.

Let's wrap this up with a Tqa joke.

Tqa: Adam & Hawa best x? Dah lama gila aku ngidam nk baca buku tu, tapi xterbeli maka xterbaca,
Me: Ada kat MPH kot.
Tqa: aa+bb aku hilang, ada jual x kat sini?
Me: Adanya, best-seller.
Tqa: Aku nak beli brooch, sebijik pon aku xbwk dri Melaka dowh, tapi aku nak simpan duit gi shopping kat Kelantan plak esok, melambak lagi benda aku nak beli.
Me: Ko ni, dah lupa nak ambik result ke?
Tqa: ....... eh, ha'ah. result.

LOLOLOLOLOL she really forgot about it.

Social Networking

2011-03-20T01:47:00.001+08:00

When people ask me if I have a Facebook account, I answer no. The truth is, I do have one, but I rarely use it. I used to be addicted with it, but I deactivated it half-heartedly for the sake of SPM, and after 6 months not using it, it kind of feels....useless. For that reluctant reason, and after reading Genius Guy's article about Facebook, I decided to deactivate it, then after a few weeks, I got bored, then I signed in again, then deactivated it again, and signed it again. It's something that I don't hold on to, and not that important or significant in my life.

When I sign in my fb account, I don't interact much with people, the two people i interact the most are Akah , and Fatihah. Sometimes it feels like they're the only people I interact with.

So yeah, sometimes we talk very serious stuff like current issues, and sometimes we just talk random stuff like lesbos(which isn't that serious, don't judge), and I screencapped some of the memorable comments/status/relationships on fb for the past... year?

If you're curious about the last comment, let me explain. I've been wanting to deactivate my fb since early March, but Akah made this...series, that she posts every week or everyday depending on her creativity. The series is private, and only selected people can read it, so if I deactivate my account, I can't read it.

The story started out quite similar to Sepet, Malay girl & Chinese guy hanging out, but starting part 2, the plot twisted too much that it went beyond public viewing. It became all dark, angsty and very controversional...just like how Akah rolls. Ever since she was in school, her Essays were always....sensitive. And this series would be her longest creepy intense story ever- and that's the appeal, I don't want to miss it.

I originally wanted to post the story here, but thinking of the rating, and her permission, I decided to just post some teaser quotes.

Adam, Aiden and the Nameless Heroin

"I spent a whole week denying the truth hoping that if I acted as if I didn't see the problem, then it wouldn't see me"

"Often, I would wake up, sweating and silently cursing my weakness. I hated myself. I felt so tainted. As if, I had soiled myself and would never again be the same."

"My mind was telling me to run but my legs wouldn't comply."

" guess I had set my path to hell. "

"It started a reaction that pushed me to admitting my weakness and opened the path of damnation for me"

"My hypocritical nature allows me to blame him."

"Sometimes, when I'm angry or sad, I would scream these things to him; knowing he would never respond gives me some relief. "

"You don't even have a concept of religion. Faith and sins, damnation and salvation, heaven and hell

"They all see me for who I was, a shadow that seemed more perfect than it's true form.

"If anyone's supposed to be worried shouldn't it be me? Why do you worry about my soul when your own beliefs states that it doesn't even exist?"

"I don't mind being a hypocrite though, I suspect most people are. Everyone who has someone special is bound to mix their feelings with their ethics"

"I am afraid of not being afraid; I'm paranoid because I'm not panicking for my life, my soul and my future"

That's just Part 3. Periodly, the series is on it's 7th part, and Akah's having a writer's brick, so Part 8 seems quite far.

If you haven't figured it yet, the story deals with Adultery- I never said it's an educated story with morals (Since when did Akah had any morals in her stories?) but like i said, it's intense that I want to know what happens next. It's quite controversional, no book publisher in Malaysia would want to publish it, but that doesn't mean it's not a pleasant read.

imaginations parallel to reality.

2011-03-19T23:36:00.002+08:00

Result's this Wednesday, and there's only two possibilities.

Let's see which one I'll use.

---
FYI: From these two gifs, there's one that I've been saving since 2 years ago, for the one sole purpose of using it for 'the ultimate result post', I just found the other gif about an hour ago. Which one's which? I'll let your imagination decide.

Seriously Psychotic Madness

2011-03-18T23:39:00.002+08:00

SPM.

SPM results is getting near.

People keep asking the same thing they asked a few weeks before SPM exams. Which is "Takut tak?". Well I just want to answer bluntly "Tak." But then, people would think I'm saying that I'm totally going to get straight A's, which is not a bad idea, but also, not what I said. It's a yes no question, I don't know what they were expecting.

When I was in my PMR years, I prayed for my results. In my prayers, I didn't ask for straight 9A's, instead I asked for results that would lead me to my future. Let me explain. Let's say I got straight A's, I might be in a different room, not meet the people I did, and might think of another course to take. If I got 7A's, I might be in a different class, have different teachers. You know how at one point of your life, there would be a life changing choice. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, which road to take? At that time(PMR), it wasn't the matter of choosing, but the matter of dealing with the choices made for me.

I got 8A's, and it took me a while, but I'm very thankful that I was lead to this road, I wouldn't have met the people that inspired me, I wouldn't have got involved in problems that helped me get through life, I might wouldn't have changed, or even see the world the way I see it right now. So it was a big deal, and Thank You God!

I've blogged a lot about SPM (all here) and my prayers did not change since PMR. I still pray for the same thing when it comes to my Academic results. But as I've said before, society has made such a gigantic deal out of SPM results, that if the government allowed, our results would've been printed on our IC. that's how huge the deal is.

But at the end of the day... they're just alphabets,on a piece of paper, harmless and vulnerable as it should be.

All in a work's day.

2011-03-17T19:37:00.002+08:00

Customer: Nak beli air ni!
Me: Okay,
working my fingers out on the cash register
Me: Nah! (handing the mineral water over)
Customer drinking it with some sort of medication.
Customer having a weird look on her face
Customer: Is it just me, or is this tap water?
Me:.....
Customer:....
Me: It's just you!

Lol, no, kidding, I didn't actually say that to a customer, but this conversation really did happen, and I really wanted to reply to her "It's just you!" but then Makcik said "Ubat tu, mmg pahit." So everything was settled, I don't know if anyone noticed, but I was laughing after that customer left. Somehow this was funny to me.

that moment when you want to laugh, and trying to hide it
and fail doing so.

Hybernating

2011-03-14T19:11:00.000+08:00

Kevjumba pretty much sums up my entire SPM break. Unproductive, over-sleeping, and cooking problems. I kind of have a lot of plans, but somehow only a few of them were executed, and the others- well, remained being plans. It kind of got me thinking. Ever since I could ever remember, I've been in school, and now not being a part of it feels...losing something, like I lost my purpose, I lost my schedule, I lost something to hold on to. Now I realized, that school had always been my life, and now that it's gone, I feel like I have no life anymore.

I kind of have mixed emotions about lazying up at home. It kind of feels boring and that I want to do something more, but then again, I feel lazy, and sleeping is always a pleasure.

But fret not, I got a job, and I know it's late(like 4 months late), but I hope it could live up my boring unproductive life for the time being, and let's just see how this goes.

First day starts tomorrow.

Late, I know.

2011-03-13T21:02:00.001+08:00

I've been meaning to blog about Japan's 8.8 earthquake ever since it happened, so here i AM.

When it came out, it's been all over the net. Everyone blogged about it on blogger and LJ, everyone reblogged about in tumblr, and everyone updated their status with stuff like this. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but some tumblr user caused quite a stir in the tumblr world, and I want to voice out my opinion regarding that matter.

So it started like this: Fatihah and other tumbrs has been reblogging about this a lot(I'm gonna log in miloccino later, and reblog theirs), and some of the posts they reblogged about emphasizes on praying for Japan- which is a good thing in my opinion, and this anon posted something like

"I'm sick and tired of my dash being filled with reblogs about praying for Japan, how can you pray when you keep reblogging?"

and so there's this preach fight going on, in which I don't want to get involved with. Here's what I think, prayers is the one thing that 's common between all religions, they all believe in God, and believe that some things in life can only be granted by God, wether He listens to our prayers or not, is a matter between that individual and Him Himself.

Each religion has their own image of praying, Christians with their church, Buddhists with their temple, Muslims with our Mosques, but me as a Muslimah, my definition of praying is by monologue, like inner thoughts. (By praying, I mean Doa, not solat) People keep saying, "Cakap itu doa." So by speaking, verbally or by word, that means we're praying.

I don't know about other religions, but I do know that when you're sincere, and you just say to yourself "O God, please help the innocent people in Japan to stay strong with the obstacles they're facing at the current time, please ease the rescuers to find survivors and dead bodies, ameen" it's a form of prayer, and even though you don't say it aloud, and nobody can hear you, I'm positive, that God does, and the matter of granting it is His decision to decide.

Basically I'm saying, reblogging is also a form of prayer, in my opinion that is, and I think it's louder than voicing out the prayers, cause by using the internet, the whole world can hear.

Done with that matter, back to Japan. Japan is known for their earthquakes. Buildings there are sturdier compared to other countries, even their furnitures are mostly built in, so that they don't move around when there's an earthquake, it's quite common, but what's not common is to have an 8.8 earthquake. They haven't had an earthquake that powerful for the past 300 years. It leads one disaster from another, this massive earthquake caused Tsunami, and the Tsunami caused leakage in a few nuclear plants which may cause Radioactivity. And for Japan being one of the most leading countries in the world, the natural phenomena happening, is socially and economically damaging.

I don't know who, but someone blogged something like this,

"Tsunami will hit Malaysia in 2 hours"

and it had like 2000 reblogs in somewhat 30 minutes or so. A lot of people were freaking out, and then 2 hours happened, and there weren't tsunamis, but just some huge waves at Sabah.

My point is not that Malaysia is safe. That night, tazkirah after Maghrib at Surau Taqwa, the ustaz said even though scientist said Tsunami won't hit Malaysia anytime soon, they're not the one to decide, and I can never agree more. I mean, God's decision is unpredictable. Just as nobody predicted the unhappy things that happened in Mesir, libya, and now Japan, nobody can predict the sudden nature gone wild change if it hits Malaysia.

Judgement day is near, and everybody is aware of all the big signs that's happening.

Antara 10 tanda kiamat ialah 3 kali gempa bumi; sekali di Timur, sekali di barat dan sekali di semenanjung Arab. (H.R. Muslim)

January 11th 2010 - Haiti
March 11th 2011 - Japan
next?

It's matter of time, and time is relative.

P/s: someone ranted about this picture being reblogged too many times, saying that the woman's chinese.

Well, chinese or Japanese, she's human. Her emotions are real.

This is why Wes is my bias.

2011-03-10T03:07:00.003+08:00

She tells me she wants to be a raindrop, she doesn’t mind falling as long as she’s not alone- And raindrops are never alone

Every scene was so gracefully shot, and every word was so beautifully written, and that's how far my commentary can go, because seriously, there's nothing else to say when there's raw amazing art in front of you.

Current obsession

2011-03-10T02:28:00.000+08:00

The Production

They're one of the most talented youtubers I've ever seen. Not to say that I watch a lot of youtube skits to begin with, but I'm certainly impressed; the editing, the angles, the lightings, the background music, the quality, the script- the thought of all those hardwork for a youtube video is ...impressive. And for someone who has a soft spot for the art of photography and cinematography as a whole, I just can't stop but be amazed by this independent production.

The product

I've finished Funemployed, and enjoyed it a lot (Come on, Kevjumba's in it- with his dad) I don't know about other people, but I for one, would certainly see this as a series that is at the same level with TV dramas. It was well written, nicely filmed, and the editting was very well done. I'm just a bit disappointed knowing Phil edited all wes' parts out. I wonder if Ted ever meant to make a cameo. ;/

I'm currently back-tracking Wongfu Weekends, all the One Days, and Technology ruins Romance series. Not to mention their short films.

The merchandise

I'll be honest, I really want a nice guy shirt. And I'm literally broke- well not literally, but...I'm broke. And they have all these cool nice guy mugs and awkward animal plushies and Shorties DVDs, which is very cool

The People

Somehow I like Judy, and she might be the only girl I could ever see to act next to Phil.(The past cast was dreadful) Phil's a good actor, Wes is a bit stiff, and Ted's just plain awkward. And somehow mix them all together, they create this epic awesomeness.

Dare to explore a world that is bigger than you know. There are a lot of reasons to not do something or not feel something. Those boundaries and walls are put up by ourselves. Once we’re able to step outside of them, we can truly realize the endless possibilities the world has to offer.

--
In a nutshell, Wongfu rocks

appropriate Best man friend gif is appropriate.

Writer's Block

2011-03-03T13:34:00.002+08:00

won't post anything lengthy in a while.

I have all the reasons to be mad.

2011-03-03T11:58:00.000+08:00

I have an obsession towards Time-out.

Curse you, whoever responsible for stopping Time Out's manufacture in Malaysia

#300

2011-03-01T16:36:00.001+08:00

001: 5 interesting facts about yourself.

01. Went to 5 different schools, in 5 different States.
02. Purely Kelantan blooded.
03. Has a habit of scribbling unconsciously on her palm
04. Stayed at home the most, among siblings
05. Loves chewing on Pedal ayam.

002: The meaning behind your name.

Nur (Light) Naelah (Receiver) Ariefah (Knowledgable) binti(daughter of) Nordin (Religion light)

Day 3: About your friends.

I used to friend whoever there is, I thought everyone was sugar and spice and everything nice. But no, I had to learn the hard way that if you don't choose the right friends, your life would end up being very messed up. So now I don't have much friends, but I cherish their awesomeness, and they're enough for me.

Day 4: About your family.

Dad, Nordin | 6th Sept | Lecturer(Computer Sc)
Mom, Salwana | 19th July | Lecturer (Finance)
1st born, Aqeelah | 15th Sept | 2nd year Medic A-level
2nd born, Ariefah | 24th Dec | Unemployed
3rd born, Nabiela | 11th August | SPM, Imtiaz Dungun
4th born, Maryam | 2nd May | UPSR, Hira' Shah Alam
5th born, Ahmad | 23rd February | Hira' Shah Alam

005: A photo of something you really hate.

Amusement Parks. Blurgh, I rather stay on the ground.

006: A song that makes you cry.

Epik High ft Younha - Umbrella

007: Your crush.

A noob

008: Something you hate about yourself.

Not knowing how to cook

009: Your definition of love.

Brain Activity

010: Your best friend.

Atiqah Mad Jan- part time lover, full time friend

011: A letter to one of your exes.

Dear creep, stop stalking!

012: Your favorite female group.

2NE1

Day 13: Your least favorite female group.

SNSD

It's their music, I just don't dig it.

014: Something you love about yourself.

My glass that is always half full, even when it's empty

015: What you would if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant.

I'll name that baby 'Ahmad Adil' :D

016: A photo that makes you smile.

Keep calm photos, love em.

017: A photo that makes you want to cry.

Loneliness is always heartbreaking. And you might want to know the story to understand.

018: A letter to someone you miss.

Please please me.
Love me, do.

019: A habit you wish you didn’t have.

Zoning out

020: A letter to your parents.

Keep on being amazing!

021: Short goals you wish to fulfill by the end of the month.

Pass driving, pass French.

022: Your nicknames & why you have them.

Ifah -only family is aloud to use it
Ella -Idk, but I hate it. Stop calling me this.
Farnael -don't ask.
Nyla -K.nuyu gave it, and Tqa kept calling me that ever since.
Nael -it's short,simple, doesn't change the meaning and I like being called that.
Neilster -I don't know what Anisha was thinking, but I like it.
el -I guess Tyka wanted it shorter

023: What you would find in your bag.

My android, my notebook, my wallet, occasionally a book to read out of boredom.

024: A song that makes you smile.

Lyn ft. MC Mong -매력쟁이

025: How you found out about blogger & why you made one.

My dad introduced it to me when I was 9, saying it as a form of expression. And as someone who was never good at expressing verbally, technology is a great help. Basically I made one to have a medium to express anything I was uncertain to express directly to people, and by that point, it has been a part of my life.

026: First 10 songs to play on shuffle on your iPod.

Infinite - Hysterie
Big Bang - Cafe
2NE1 - I Don't Care (Reggae mix)
Maroon 5 - Won't go Home Without You
Lyn ft. MC Mong - Charm
Taeyang ft. GD - I Need A Girl
Christophe Mae - Belle demoiselle
Bruno Mars - Liquor Store Blues
Maher Zain - Inchaallah (francais)
Supreme Team - Then then then

027: Your fashion style.

Denim jubah + any sort of tudung would do.
Sloppy, messy, me.

028: What attracts you to someone.

Their eyes, or their smile- wait, this is a first encounter right?

029: Future plans/goals.

Get Aisha's apartment!

I've never had such a clear vision of how I want the place I'm going to live in, to be. It's amazing how Aisha & Sid turned this into this, pure awesomeness

30: Who are you?

Dazed & Confused

Bieb

2011-02-28T17:08:00.000+08:00

A conversation with Akah, quite a while ago, during Form 5.

Akah: What're they excited about?
Me: Bieber just came out with a movie
Akah: That kid, I hate how he's younger than us, makes a lot of money and just wastes it away.
Me: How do you know he wastes it?
Akah: Look at his hair!

LOL, Buble imitating Bieber. Glorious.

Family Tree: Ahmad Nabhan Edition

2011-02-28T17:03:00.000+08:00

Someone complained that I don't blog much about family here, so here I am, doing a pimp post for my lil' brother.

Five things you may or may not know of my brother

01. Ahmad Nabhan Fikriey bin Noridn
02. 23rd February 2002
03. Tadika Anggerik | Little Caliph | Integrated School Shah Alam | Hira' Shah Alam
04. 3 Favorite things: Cars, Games & Swimming
05. Scared of being alone upstairs during the night

Playing his favorite thing, lying his favorite way

with Atok

Two dorks

Raya, (Abah, Ummi & Qeelah just arrived from Malaysia, at that time they were on their way to Kelantan)

3 + 1

Standing next to a one of a kind swing hand-made by Atok

Honestly I don't know why he was smiling to the plant like that.

Dork.

Rocking away

With a cat that I forgot it's name.

In the car

With big ~~boss~~ sister

Sitting next to me during his Ihtifal last month.

Showed me the cafeteria

From the back you will never guess he's a dork.

On a bus going to school.

Sunlight shining upon him,

Random.

Ahmad is the youngest in the family, and also the only offspring with an XY chromosome (the earlier four has XX chromosomes). What can I about him? He's everything a little brother could be: loud, immature and very very annoying, he keeps on sweating, and stinks. He has weird mood swings. Everytime he gets tired he'll get more irrational, like scream at anyone for no reason at all, and he's got a temper. If he's on a rampage, just go away. Don't try to provoke him or ask "Hey, how ya doin?" , you'll end up with a black eye. He gets more annoying when his friends are around, he becomes this obnoxious kid who's rude to his sisters. He's just down right annoying.

But at the end of the day, you'll realize that he's just a boy, in the process of growing up, sensitive, naive and afraid of being alone. So you let him sleep next to you, with his stickered PSP and its charger , all tangled in wires.

You know when you see someone every single day every year, you don't notice the changes that's happening, it's the same thing. I don't see Ahmad changing, but you know he's getting mature by day by the way he talks

Like how every time I go out, he asks me where I'm going. And then he'll say "Jale molek" or "Good Luck with that.". And when I come home he asks, "So how'd it go?" and I'll answer either "Great", "Good" or "Sucked." And how everytime he asks for something very nicely, and I say yes, he replies "Terima Kasih", not "Mekasih" or "Time kasih", he really word out "Te-ri-ma Ka-sih"

But that doesn't mean he's all grown up. Oh no~ he's not. I mean, for a guy who names his own cat 'Fluffy Puddy', I'm anticipating his puberty for him.

oh no, the mental image

For the better or worse.

2011-02-28T11:35:00.001+08:00

If you've come to my house, or we've talked with me mentioning I was sleeping in the living room for 2 weeks, then you would know that there's been some renovation on some parts of my house. We've changed the floor, painted the walls, fixed the doors, replaced some pipes, rearranged everything, and it looks pretty nice, I must say. But by getting rid of all of the tweaks, we've gotten rid of some other things, unknowingly.

First of all, all the doors of our rooms had their own squeak, we'v been living here for years, and we can distinguish which door room was being opened just by the sound of it opening, and it is confirmed when the door shuts BANG, everything has it's own sound. And well, since the door's fixed, we can't hear any sound from any door. So if some of us were downstairs, watching TV or having midnight snacks, we wouldn't know if any of our parents suddenly came out of their room, or any other sibling came out of our own room.

And even footsteps had their own sounds. Our floor before this had wood, so the *thump thump thump* going on was clearly heard downstairs. The heavier you are, the more force you put on the floor when walking, so we knew which parent came out, with how much speed...and how much he/she gained. By this method also, we knew if someone was praying, and how fast it was, and how many was praying.

So now we don't know which door was open, and who was coming out of the room. ;/ It feels weird.

Geng Surau

2011-02-25T03:17:00.001+08:00

I don't watch Malay dramas, or Samarindas. Simply because I can't understand them. I just don't get why in every family, there's always someone who wants all the money for themselves, and is inhumanly rude. I mean, the only Malay drama I ever could comprehend, is Spa Q, and even that's just Season 1. When season 2 came, it just went plain creepy.

However, Malaysians shouldn't be skeptical to their own kind, because, really, in amidst those unbearable to watch family dramas, one Malay production has changed my whole perception towards Malay Drama trying to go Islamic and Malay Dramas as a whole.

You know how some Malay dramas try to go Islamic, but they just...fail at it.*cough*Qalesya*cough* like they have very heavy dialogs with too good to be true prodigy Ustaz being all naive and innocent and perfectly saving the whole kampung from disaster when they don't even take care of the small matters. It's annoying to watch, but this drama is the total opposite.

A MUST WATCH drama. Totally worth the time and attention. This isn't actually drama, because despite having lots of drama going on, they were able to make it appear funny and amusing (and really, I wonder how long have I ever laughed that hard watching a Malay drama). It's so fresh, plus I like the cinematography, even the cast is amazing. Pak Abu is hilarious, and Razif really suits his character.

What surprises me them ost, is that this drama has a very strong plot that I have never seen used before.

The story's about this very troubled guy who's the prankster of the village. He went to rehab and came back as a new man, but everyone was nervous for his comeback. He's like 20 something but realised he wanted take SPM again, so he goes to school, while his ex is engaged to his friend.

Sounds like one heck of drama right? But really, the show is HILARIOUS! Not to mention without disregarding the islamic values. This is seriously a must watch, they're funny without trying to be stupid and the issues discussed are issues that we normally face, so it's very familiar in an amusing perspective.

Fresh, witty and down right amazing, watch it here, all unlisted youtube videos.

Miloccino, French milk.

2011-02-25T01:15:00.000+08:00

Songs that makes you want to grab a cup of Coffee in a Cafe and just simply relax to it.

Big Bang - Cafe (Tonight, album)

Urban Zakapa - 커피를 마시고 (Sweety you, album)

J - French Toast (ft. Humming Urban Stereo)

Happy birthday, Ahmad.

2011-02-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

Because I'm one hell of a butler.

2011-02-19T09:00:00.000+08:00

Oh well, call me old school, but I don't think I want to skip season 1, even though Season 2 seem to look more impressive. I guess maybe because all the significant, more important characters appear there, and for this season- well- just Sebastien and Ciel. Though I do not deny the Phantomhive's creepy, depressing drama does make everything interesting, why must Ciel be twelve? It seems kind of pedo-ish to make him that young. I think it's too early to make a judgement, but liking all the classic English Noble family style this anime offers- in that weird and scary Japanese manga style

I guess it'll get more creepy, dark and twisted as the season progresses. (I might stick around and watch all the OVAs)

Good Morning corpus luteum, stay calm!

2011-02-18T14:36:00.000+08:00

Nothing much really, just hanging out at our yard on this beautiful Friday morning. Fresh fruits,hot chillis, and scratchy paws(Nekko & Bernoulli) :)

Maulidurrasul

2011-02-16T13:19:00.000+08:00

I guess there's not much to say, but Madame had an announcement before class, she asked Monsieur if she could do a tribute since it's Maulidurrasul, and everyone listened carefully to what she had to say.

She gave out Juz' Amma with French translation to everybody, and she even personally signed it.Mine says

"With Love & respect, Naelah -from Mak Engku"

2011-02-14T09:29:00.000+08:00

I don't understand the fuss about the origins of Valentine, some say it's from this greek guy named St. Valentine who dedicated his life for the rights to love, some say it's the day some Yahudi dudes killed a bunch of Muslims, some say the date was for a Roman ritual of slaying dogs and stuff, and God knows how many more rumors there are about the purpose of Valentine.

Why does the beginning of something matter more than the now? If you ask me, I don't care how it all started, but I don't mind that it did. I think there’s something really great about a day where you’re encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody I’m in love you. It's not about following someone else's tradition, it's just about celebrating Love in general. Like how we celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day, this time around it's just for love- not just for a lover, but to our family, our religion, our friends, or anyone in this world that we would put in the same sentence with 'love'. A day with a reason to be all sorts of mushy without someone putting their hand on your forehead asking "Demam ke?"

not that I did anything weird today, just a thought of the day

Rowdy ruff much.

2011-02-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

LOL-ed so much at this part yesterday. Shall I express using a gif?

There you go, Dr Who.

Drafts

2011-02-12T21:53:00.002+08:00

A ratio of 2000:1

2011-02-12T21:46:00.000+08:00

"Teke clutch, masuk gear satu... lepas clutch slow-slow..okay...good..kane skit....teke minyok sikit- teke break, BREAK!!!!!"

After all thee blood, sweat, screaming, shrieking, cursing, weird parking, restarting the Kancil, and a broken flower pot, Ummi sighed, and said

"That's it, masuk ambik keto maine Ahmad, blaja theory driving a toy car first!"

Puzzles & wedges

2011-02-11T15:43:00.002+08:00

Me & Maryam eating with forks. After eating almost everything...

Me : Tok sipe pun untu Abah
Maryam : . . .
Me : . . .
Maryam putting the fork down
Maryam: Molla!

Just a couple of Lesbos

2011-02-09T08:53:00.000+08:00

So I have these two friends who always claim they're lesbos, just for fun, and they even said I was supporting gays and lesbos by just wearing my uniform,(which is Purple, the colour of gay & Lesbianism) and I know this came out of the blue, but I just thought of this funny thing they said once, and I thought of posting the joke here rather than matang | lessy ;D

They were dating, and we interrupted. Someone asked them, "Antara korang berdua, yang mana satu the 'girl' of the relationship?" and they had the most witty answer I never expected to hear.

"Kitorang ni, ada sistem. Dia tengok keadaan, yg mana tgh period, yg tulah yg jd 'girl', yg sorang lagi jadi the 'guy'. Take turn."

Oh okay then, the question continued "So skarang ni turn sapa?"

Both of them went silent for a while and then said "Buat masa sekarang ni, dua-dua the 'girl', jadual xtentu."

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Oh well, it was hilarious to me.
---

Some Shane gif for y'all, cause she's totally relevant here.

Qoi?

2011-02-08T23:16:00.001+08:00

Madame spoke French to me.....again.

Hate it when she does that. Not hating that she's talking french, hating that I couldn't understand a word except moi and vous- she was speaking too fast those were the only words I could catch. Tonight, showed me this century old album where she kept her French letters from what looked like the 50's, her hand writing's nice I must say, calligraphic, the way people used to write back in the days. Usama didn't come for class, something about a new boarding school or something, so Madame went to the toilet alone, and ended up in the Men's XD it was hilarious "I was confused of the sex"

The seats always changes, or sometimes we use a different class, it depends on the situation, so the arrangement of seats also changes, so there's no "That's me seat, I sat there last week!" . It's the 'Who comes first, sits first' system. I have no problem with that system, I don't mind sitting next to anybody at all, so tonight I sat next to this new girl, (French Class have new people around every week), and we chatted and she asked questions, copied her answers and stuff like that, pretty normal, but there's a reason why I'm blogging about this.

I have a thing for notebooks, it's not actually a thing, I just like doing my own notes, you know. I don't like copying the black board, I rather scribble my own notes with my own words with my understandings. So throughout my SPM years, I've had about 5 thick notebooks that I like to call my SPM trilogy (including Kitab Al-Naelah). And I finished the 5th one in October, so I didn't want to have an official 6th notebook coz then there would be a lot of blank pages, since it was almost over at that point. But I ended up having an unofficial notebook, where I put practically everything: tazkirahs, driving lessons, cooking recipes, cross-stitch patterns, drabbles, doodles and currently French notes. My sister gave me this cool vintage Paris hard cover note book for my birthday and I really want to use it, but I want to use it after I finish using my current note book, so I'm not 'jimat' for paper when it comes to notes.

I've sit next to almost half the girls in my French Class, and everytime I do that, one thing I admire is their handwriting. How can it be so perfectly constant? It feels weird, sitting next to Syafiqah for almost a year, and my handwriting might be influenced by her (put the blame on her =D). Th point is, I right my notes using a gell pen, and my handwriting isn't that organized, artistic is the word I normally use to describe my handwriting. It's not 'nice' looking, but I like it, and sometimes I feel embarassed to see the other girls, having such organized notes, but I feel more comfortable with my notes, it's just my style.

So this new girl that I sat next to, asked a question nobody has ever asked. "Can I borrow your notebook?"

What ? Why? Why this? Why now?

"Err.... my notes tak kemas and my handwriting I doubt you boleh baca, nota budak belakang kita ni kemas teratur, pinjam yang dia!"

But she was like

"Takpelah, it's only for two days, I'll return it to you on Thursday."

Err.... okay then.

I keep wandering if I ever wrote something stupid or anything....wait... Akah drew a 'serai' once, because I said I didn't know what that was. Was it this notebook, or the other one?

Good morning heartache, sit down!

2011-02-08T15:02:00.000+08:00

It's kind of a funny thing is one of the movies that I anticipated the most. Ever since the trailer release last September, I waited for the cinema release, but it doesn't show in Malaysia, and since this isn't a Hollywood mainstream type of thing with big budgets and killer sets, it was really hard to find it online, so I had to wait for the DVD release which was today, and that's how I got to finally see it(online that is).

This movie would be my favorite of all time, kicking Dead Poets Society to number 2. I don't know, it's got nothing to do with the cinematography, the script was witty but not super witty as I normally expect from an indie movie like this. The acting was good, not Oscar winning good, just good. he casting is normal, not some heartthrobs or freakingly beautiful actresses or something. To be honest, this is a pretty normal movie...but I liked every bit. It's like a Michael Cera movie, but without Michael Cera, you know, like you don't what's so appealing about this movie, but it's just is. I think of how the movie portrayed depression without making this really weird and scary like they do to psychopaths, they just really show teenage depression and...well,it's hard to explain, I guess if you have suffered depression at least once in your life, you'd understand what depression could do to you. I mean everyone gets depressed at one point in their life, the question is how serious that depression is.

It’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint - it’s a physical thing. Like, it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don’t come out in conjunction with your brain the normal way people’s words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed ice dispenser. You stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.

I like how this is from Craig's point of view, and there's flashbacks, imagination, how he see things, what's really on his mind and the time setting for the film is one week, so there's this feeling that the story's progressing fast in just short time.

Lord, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.

The ending was the best closure I've ever seen, the message of those who are not busy being born is busy dying, so we have to live our lives like it really means something. That this isn't a story about a depressed teenager that goes into a Psych ward and gets out 5 days later and all his problems are cured, it's about a beginning of something new, a feeling of confident that there's something to look forward for in the future, and for once, being able to handle it.

Homework, school, family, eat, drink, read, ride on subways, ride on bikes, swim, run, draw, love...

Breathe, live!

simultaneous epicness

2011-02-07T16:03:00.001+08:00

Watched The Social Network and Inception simultaneously in HD last night. Two virtual worlds colliding perpendicularly for 2 hours and 2 hours and a half respectively.

Love his lines.

the 0 gravity scene : coolest thing ever.

❝You musn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling!❞

Sweaty mad men!

2011-02-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

I suck at driving. My instructor told me to practice and then 4 people came up to me and say how bad a driver I am.

Oh well, not that they're wrong.

Feeling: insecure

A lonely goathard

2011-02-06T16:41:00.000+08:00

Una came home for Chinese New Year, so I gave her something from Jakarta before she left for Terengganu yesterday.

Una: This looks weird
Me: What weird?
Una: This looks...this..it's like....It's a goat with wings!

LOL.

Wherefore art thou?

2011-02-06T04:56:00.002+08:00

Romeo & Juliet would be one of the most famous, most parodied, most known love story throughout the years and throughout the centuries, and the film has been remaked about ....10 times? and even when film makers are trying to modernize that concept, for me, I'd always prefer the original play.

The first Romeo & Juliet story I ever watched was the 1968 version, the one with Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting. It was midnight and I couldn't sleep, so I opened the television and RTM1 was the only channel to have something interesting on, when I saw Olivia Hussey as Juliet, I was so admired by her beauty, I kept watching because she was so beautiful, like a real Juliet, and then Leonard Whiting showed up and oh my, he looked so much like a Romeo. That was the start of my classic movies nights.

I never watched the Leonardo Dicaprio version but I don't think I ever will, whenever I hear Romeo & Juliet, I imagine these two in mind, Leonard Whiting would always be Romeo Montague and Olivia Hussey would always be Juliet Capulet and since the story really followed the Shakespeare version, it felt more original, and I had a better understanding of what really was supposed to happen. (But of course, RTM1 cut a lot of scenes)

If I'd have to choose, I would choose Romeo & Juliet over Much Ado About Nothing. As much as I like the script, all the witty lines Beatrice had, and all the sarcasm Benedict had, not to mention Dr. Wilson being all "Can thy buy such a diamond?" over Hero, yes, it was entertaining, but Romeo & Juliet wins. I mean come on, just look at Romeo!

"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief. That thou her maid are far more fair than she"

Scrapbook; the thing about it.

2011-02-05T11:25:00.000+08:00

I like Tumblr's clean organized dashboard and layouts, I like LJ's wide choices of html codes, but however I try, I would always stick to blogger for blogging, I've been here for 5 years already and it's not like I'll ever get over this thing. This is my source of comfort, a sweet escape from real life for just about half an hour or so, and I'm not letting go.

This scrapbook thingy is kind of like a tradition in the LJ world, almost every LJ user has it and ironically it's not like LJ came up with the idea. Scrapbook is like a single post that has a record of what you've done throughout the year. It would be set to a longer date so that it would stay on top of all posts after updating. It would be constantly updated from time to time. The content is up to the user to fill it in with, so there's always a scrapbook every year.

This blogskin is kind of LJ-ish, and the idea of this year's scrapbook just came to me. Unlike Scrapbook 0+0, which focuses more on pictures and memories, this scrapbook would focus on what I've done throughout the year. :)

Another weird dream.

2011-02-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

I was pregnant, and I was blogging during contraction. ;/
Pushed , then azan Subuh.

Didn't sleep after that.

Dream a little dream of me!

2011-02-01T17:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I get really weird dreams, probably connected to the weird times I chose to sleep at. Despite all those weird dreams, yesterday's dream was the weirdest of them all.

I had a job, going on my first day, but I didn't know the way. So I was lost, roaming the streets of Shah Alam, and then there was this bus with a female driver, and I stopped to ask the way, and she said, "Boleh naik, tapi seribu!" She was smiling and I didn't quite understand the seribu part, but she looked trustworthy so I hopped on. When we arrived at that place I was supposed to go, the driver asked for RM1000, and I just stared at her, and she got angry saying that she clearly said 'seribu', of course I heard 'seribu' I just never thought that it would be the tambang, I thought it was 1000 metres or something. Then everyone on the bus started to get angry with me saying that I'm trying to have a ride for free and started cursing and stuff. So I got off, took out RM1000 and gave it to the driver. She left.

Then I woke up, with my mom poking my hips, asking if I wanted to make cream puffs or not. I was in such a bad mood that I ignored the question completely. That was the first time I have ever been bothered with a dream. Sometimes I get nightmares, but those nightmares only lasts for one night, then it doesn't bother me for the day. I got scammed in a dream! The world is cruel even in dreams, imagine reality! I was in a bad mood the whole day.

Kato is relevent!

2011-01-30T02:57:00.001+08:00

Just watched The Green Hornet

and it was EPIC!

I don't usually like all these action-pack movies with canned predictable jokes, but that movie was surprisingly hilarious.

"I was borned in Shanghai. You know Shanghai?"
"Yeah, I love Japan!"

Sometimes jokes are funny, but when it's predictable, the humor kind of dies off. I watched it with Ahmad on my bed, and he kind of didn't get the jokes cause most of them were adult jokes, so he was just smiling or light giggling and I was literally laughing out loud.

“You’re a yuppie wimp and I’m a martial arts expert who grew up penniless on the streets”
"You grew up penisless on the streets!”

When the movie ended I was like "Should've watched this in the cinemas" I don't find the need of cinemas when it comes to an okay-rate movie, but I cannot find a movie that I watched at a cinema that I felt worth paying for. Especially Avatar, I do not understand the obsession over that movie. WHAT do people see in that? My friends said "Best gile." and it got really great reviews so I was excited to watch it in the cinema, but it was a total disappointment. If I were to name the worst movie I've watched in a cinema, I would say Avatar. I was like...

I thought green hornet was an okay-movie so I didn't want to watch it in the cinema, I mean I only wanted to watch Jay Chou, he has always been my favorite Chinese guy, right next to Lee Hom. So I did not expect this much sense of amusement. Just googled reviews and people said Kato's vision looked cool in 3D ;(

Akah just got her gaji, and she really wanted to go into cosmo world, the closed amusement park in Times Square, and I really didn't want to go (Cosmo World, not Times Square). I never was interested in roller coasters and spinning upside down, I just don't see the fun in any of those activities, just looking at them makes me sick. Anyway, Akah wanted me to go in, and I didn't want to. At a situation like this, what is the solution?

Bribery of course, Akah bribed me with a Kato t-shirt which was so cool. It was like a cartoon of Kato in full uniform

Would I turn upside down for a Jay Chou shirt? Yeah, of course! and here I am wearing that exact shirt.

In a nutshell Green Hornet rocked, and I doubt that Green Lantern could even compare to it.

duuuh!

Defying a lot of free time

2011-01-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

That's me trying!

2011-01-28T04:28:00.000+08:00

I know everyone's out there in the real world making money by working and here I am at home training to be the coolest housewife for future purposes, but in the midst of broken needles and burnt food on the stove, I have some other long-term plans of my own.

When we went to Jakarta, there's this huge shopping place where everything's cheap and negotiable, and on top of that amazing building, is in fact, a mosque, (which is very pretty I must add), we prayed Zuhur there, and after prayers there was this tazkirah. I didn't listen much because I can't fully digest the language, but my mom did and she told me this,

"Kalau kita hidup ni semata-mata untuk kahwin, dapat anak, kerja untuk sara keluarga, kita xubah macam kambing, malah kambing pun lebih bermakna hidup dari kita, sebab dia mati kena sembelih end up atas meja makan, at least ada contribution terhadap manusia. Apa tujuan kita hidup? Apa yang kita buat dalam hidup kita yang membuatkan hidup kita lebih bermakna dari kambing?"

I might have changed the structure of the sentence but the point of the speech is still intact. I instantly remembered John Travolta's speech to Oprah, kind of like "The world is a better place because you're in it." and "You're the hero of mankind" and it's very inspiring, so I'd thought of why I want to be a software programmer and what I probably 'could' do for this world- or shall I say, Malaysia be better, so here's a list.

1. Jawi PSP program

This was suggested by my mom, my brother was being so reluctant to practice his jawi (which I would like to add, not that good) but whenever he get his PSP, he eats and breathes it. Basically the idea is to combine an unlikeable thing: learning, with kids' favorite thing: games. This idea isn't new, I've seen educational games before, but to be honest it wasn't that fun and organized or appealing for the youth, and what I'd want to try is to upgrade that idea. I do have some friends who for some apparent reason, are exceptionally good in english, but somewhat lacking in jawi, and I have a feeling that the next generation would have the same problem. Everyone's getting good in english, but not in jawi. This project may not be a game, and it also may not be jawi, I'm thinking more of an interactive program that is compatible with PSP and Xbox and all those gaming stuff, available online, and I would want to broaden the genre rather than just specifying on Jawi, maybe Maths and science or maybe diniyah-related.

2. LRT/KTM/Monorel program

I've been meaning to rant about our transportation system, there's just always something to be upset about. There was this one time that I already went out of the station, and I wanted to pray, but the prayer's room is inside, and there was this one time I was already in the station, but it was raining so the train was delayed so I wanted to pray, but the prayer's room is outside, and there was no one to talk to about that matter, the office was outside, and the security guard was no where to be seen, and don't get me started that the station holds the record for the most smallest surau I have ever seen, there's not even a gender divider, a guy and a girl prays at the same place. There were times when I rushed to the station, just to know that the train just left and the next train is 15 minutes later, if I knew I would've grabbed breakfast. And how many times have you overheard people who were on the train for the first time because of book fairs or PC fairs and they hopped on the wrong train and had to ride on another train to get back to where they started and ride the right one. Here's the thing, there's a sign on the train to where it's heading, but it's so unnoticeable that people always get messed up because they have this perception that if they get on the train at the station where they got off, they will be back to where they're from, but it doesn't actually work that way so here's where I come in and try to save the world.

I would want a blueprint of all train stations, ALL, including the upcoming MRT if it's finished by the time I'm doing this program. It will have information of where the surau is, the office, the toilet, any shops if there is, and more importantly, which platform heads to where. I would want to co-operate with the companies itself rather than being an individual thing, cause I want to have the schedule of each train, it will be on the site and is updated frequently, with a notification if there is a delay. I would want each train to have its own gps, so we would know where it is now, and we could estimate our own time.

This would be a profitable thing, and with the outcome I would want to increase the workers' salary and stress about hospitality and discipline, because I gotta tell you, some KTM workers are just so damn cranky. And since everyone's getting smartphones, I'd want to make this program available as an application for Iphones and Androids and tablets and whatever will appear the next decade.

3. Golden Bell Challenge.

This would be one of my favorite gameshows ever. If you have ever heard of Star Golden Bell, then that's a totally different show with Korean artist and famous people, this show I'm talking about are for students.

A brief summary of what the concept of this show: These people go to one school per episode, and about 200 something students participate in the challenge(from Form 3 til Form 5). They ask a question, and all the students have to answer individually. Whoever gets a question wrong gets eliminated, the questions are from their syllabus (poetry, novels, music, science) and general knowledge (culture, world), students who read a lot can answer it. At some questions, there are prizes like Scholarship to study overseas and going on a 4-week English language program at USA. If anyone gets to the last question, 50, and answers it correctly, they get to ring the bell, and have a full scholarship to any university in Korea.

This show has many people involved, including the Ministry of Education, Ministry of Higher Education, and a lot of famous sponsors. Even though this is more to broadcast which is not my field I'm planning to pursue, but I'm thinking that Malaysia would be great to have this type of show rather than something like 'Clever' which I would like to rant about a bit. Most of the science questions involve prinsips and Laws that we do not learn til we were in Form 4, and you're asking it to a primary student. Of course, the approach is to make this fun and let kids know more about science, but I don't think it's working. 'Clever' is adapted from German, which won best gameshow, but their syllabus is different than ours. I just find 'Clever' very irrelevent.

I would want to try to make this happen, I even mentioned this in my Nilam interview. The Interviewer asked what would I do for a better education? And I answered combining learning with games, and give prizes that people would really want to have, which is scholarship, but in our case, the scholarship is valid only if the later SPM results fits the requirement. I maybe would give in this proposal to any producers in the future. Doesn't matter how, but I'll figure it out someday. Right now I just know that I have this on the list.

4. Vocational Elective School

This is also not within my profession, but I think it's pretty cool. You know how you go through the SPM time table and there's like 20 something subjects that you've never heard of? We never knew it exists, but it's there and nobody knows about it. This school I'm talking about focuses on those electives. I'm thinking of a special building with fully equipped facilities that can be used for students who wants to pursue in any of the electives.

I had this thought when I realised that Malaysians don't have that much of a choice. It's mainly science, engineering, accounting, commerce or literature. I want to expand that option, there'll be a garden, room of sewing machines, room with cooking utensils. When I watch foreign movies that have shots of their school, it reminds me how poor our schoo facilities are, and it wouldn't be worth building and fixing if nobody's using it, so this school I have in mind, doesn't teach academics. I want this school to be very close to another school, so we can have the students learn academics there, and electives here. I'm hoping for a balanced time-table. Basically I just want to expand more options. Long-shot, I know, but worth it!

5. SPM interactive programme

This is also inspired by The Golden Bell Challenge. It would be like this online quiz games, there'll be categories: SPM, general knowledge, culture, international and stuff. It's subjective and the answer'd be computer generated. There'll be an option for time and stuff. I guess I just want this to be like a fun short easy studying. I'm not encouraging to use this to study before the exam, just like if you don't feel like studying and want to play some quick quizes, then play this program, and if you don't get more than 80%, then you should study more. I want the psychological effect, like you feel lazy to study a lot, because you think you've studied enough, but playing this quiz, and making you realize that you're not that smart, you'll feel the urge to study.

Plus, answering the curiosity of Malaysian history and culture, I mean we're Malaysians and all we know about our country is 31's August is Independent day and the 6 Prime Ministers. I'd want to change that.

6.Cooking for beginners website

I always had problem with cooking, in fact still am, and while I'm taking note whatever tips and cooking secrets that weren't written anywhere, I'd want to compile them and post it online, like how you have to add flour last, and not mix it much when flour is added coz your muffins will be all soggy and weird looking. These stuff plus basic recipes of everything. Kind of my version of a cookbook for dummy.

The only thing that makes this project cooler, is the "When life gives you chicken, you make chicken soup" game which I came up. The game is simple, there would be a box, to type in all the ingredients you have in your kitchen, and my program would list down all possible meals you can cook, there'll be an option, full/ semi. For full, you don't want to run to the store, you really want to finish up everything in your fridge. For semi, meaning meals that needs ingredients that are a majority of what you already have, at the side corner will be listed what you need to complete it. Sounds delicious already ;)

7. Diagnose site

It's just something I think about whenever I'm curious. When I get this rash and then a head-ache and suddenly I vomit, what does it mean? It could be something serious or it could be nothing at all. I don't know, and even doctors don't explain so I want to have this site where all possibilities are listed.

You know how you get a migraine and you feel like you have a tumor in your brain? Well I don't know how a tumor feels like and nobody does, so it's like a yes no quiz, whereby you state the symptoms, and all the possible diseases are listed, linking to their information. Since age and gender and other medical stuff are related, there would be a lot of questions, and I would like to collaborate with my sister on this project. Would be fun aite?

8.Islamic store

We Muslims try hard to increase the islamic economy, and promote islamic items and attempt of making and selling Islamic-related stuff, and these people are always invisible. Some people want to buy islamic-related stuff but they don't know where, and some people want to sell them, but they don't know to whom, so I would be trying to invent this medium to allow those two sides connect.

I want to make a site that promotes things mostly that are islamic-related. I would want to collect all those stuff in one pleace, state the price, contact number, any information and if a lot of people support the site, there might even be shipping service. Basically the concept is an islamic mall. A site where you can find out about Islamic products from clothes to food to even books. Giving the advantage to micro entrepreneurs for free promotion.

9. Capture Translate

I wish to work with Google on this one. It's an application that is very useful on your phone. You go to a foreign land, and you can't read the sign boards, just capture a picture, and the application would translate it for you. I would want to work on Khat, sometimes they're too squigly that even the computer cannot read it, you have to let someone that can read jawi and understand the art of khat to read, so I want to put all possible famous khat signs and make it able to be translated.

Same goes tho chinese, korean, and japanese signs. Even languages which uses alphabets, I'd want this to happen, for a better travelling and a convenient way of not getting lost.

--
I know some of these projects sounds a bit impossible, but that's the point. When I brainstorm I don't think of what's possible, I try to include anything that is impossible, and try my best to make it possible later. I know I wouldn't be making these projects individually, some include working with others, and I'll be looking forward to it. I might be the one to come up with the idea, but maybe some others also did, so even if I don't become a pioneer of any project, I wish to be a part of it. These are side-projects, not the work that would support my living, but 50% of any profit would be going to charity, that's something I want to do, earn money to give away.That's it for now, I'll come up with more ideas later on. 'Later' is indefinite, it could mean an hour from now, tomorrow, next week, next month, or even the next 20 years, but what's definite, is that I'm making this as a purpose, and that would encourage me to stay passionate of this vision

I'll end this with April Kepner's 'Move or i'll run you down' gifs, that episode was epic.She looked so determined to save the dummy's life and passionate about not losing that it's inspiring in a funny way.

Jungle Fish 2 rocks!

2011-01-27T13:45:00.004+08:00

1. Laws of the jungle // 2. Blue Pill // 3. Cindarella Man // 4. Stranger A // 5. 7 months 2 weeks and counting// 6. Bloody Dumplings// 7. Truth & Lies // 8. Jungle Fish is gloomy but sunny too

I really really like this....what do you call this? It's too short for a drama, and too long for a movie... a mini-series. Yes, I'll put this next to Ghost and K.A.M.I in my favorite mini-series list. If I were to describe this series, then it would definitely be one word: DAEBAK! The cinematography was wonderful. Naelah is happy!

Plot: People always ask, why's the title Jungle Fish? Such a weird and ugly name, but the name is the whole plot of the story. Basically it portrays how students' life are in Korea, and I gotta tell you, not pretty! The students are like fishes that ended up in a jungle made by the adults, trying to escape but not knowingly, made traps of their own. So there's this girl who wanted to change the jungle, and ended up killing himself. The story involves 4 of her friends trying to figure out what caused the suicide, in the meantime the characters develop in their own dedicated episode.

The cast: Starting with Min Hosu, a.k.a Stranger A. He's cool and kind of heartless, thus mostly expressionless, but overall his acting is quite good, and hes not trying to be cool but he just doesn't care about anything, which makes him cool. I don't know, I like his character.

Seo Yul a.k.a Blue Pill. Boram's my favorite in T-ara but Jiyeon has a pretty impressive resume as a maknae, this would be her 3rd time acting, and I'd say she did a very good job, considering her character is one of the most important ones. She's this girl who is pressured by her father to get first place coz her brother and sister are perfectly in Yale and Med school, so her character is like this zombie student getting pressured.

Ahn Bawoo a.k.a Cindarella Man

Bluntly saying I don't like Lee Joon, I don't like his personality on tv shows, and I don't quite like MBLAQ music in general, but I gotta admit, when it comes to acting, he's one of the singers who could really act well. Seriously I'm impressed. Ever since Ninja Assassin, he really wowed me, and he doesn't stop there.

Ahn Bawoo is a school drop-out, however not on his own will, he was framed and he shows emotions so well that there are moments where I get moved just by the way he looks at his father, the way he looks at Seo Yul, simply the way he stares into space.

Lee Rayi a.k.a Indi-dol

Okay, so she's pregnant. But the thing to think about is not how she was stupid enough to get pregnant, but how she's managing with pregnancy and fighting to go to school. It's a good thing the one getting her pregnant was not shown at all throughout the series, cause that would just be more drama, plus I like how she's not depending, or even hoping that her supposed to be 'seo-bang' would help her

Yoon Gong-ji a.k.a Bloody Dumpling

I like her character the most. Apart from being a fiction writer otaku who's obsessed with vampires and zombies, she makes the cutest stalker stalking the stalkable Wontak, pretty surprised that he appeared more than two episodes, and actually became a love interest of someone significant. Goonji's a hacker, a loner but doesn't look lonely at all, she has her friends and she doesn't mind when they're not there talking about her interest. Loving her hacker skills, tracking anons using their IP address, I kind of did that once, a bit too curious to find out where that anon lives.

Hyoyoung

I never knew she acted this well. She was on Star king once, and I didn't like her, cause she was all cutesy and aegyo-full. Then her twin joined T-ara and her rapping was awful. But surprisingly Hyoyoung could actually act. *Impressed

It would be very awesome if the writers show Joon Jiyeon love line clearly ended up as, it's just hanging and someone's cranky about it (point to self). I mean we never knew if Joon ever confessed or did Jiyeon ever noticed, it would've been nice to have a closure.

Oh well, over all, the most awesome-est, best-est, coolest, series EVER!!!

More muffins

2011-01-27T02:27:00.000+08:00

Made it with the help from Ummi, Maryam and Ahmad (Everyone just wants to hold the mixer)

The muffins were very sweet (somewhat too sweet) , and Abah was like "I need sugar-free muffins!" and I replied "Well, then you're net getting any cause these are sugar-rich!"

=D

2011-01-26T18:38:00.002+08:00

Madame demoiselle

2011-01-26T00:18:00.001+08:00

French class was pretty normal tonight. We learnt about nationalities and masculine feminine stuff, and then there were jokes, questiones, ecoutex repetez, as I said, tonight was pretty normal, but the interesting part was the conversation I had with madameI was talking to Monsieur about the class dates, and asked what should I do when I have to got to PLKN this March, and he said he'll think about it, so I walked to the door, but I saw Madame wiping the whiteboard and I offered to help but she insisted to do it herself, and then she talked about being polite, it's polite to wipe the whiteboard, but it's rude to giggle during classes. She's referring to a bunch of girls who were giggling because Monsieur said a joke. She sounded quite upset about it, she looked me straight in the eye and said "Giggling, Melayu kata mengilai. That's rude!". I didn't quite bothered aout the giggles, because I practically 'lived' with it my whole life, it's not something to be annoyed about, and then she mentioned about 'Ce soir' meaning 'tonight', the giggling students asked about, and she suddenly spoke fluent french to me, which I could not digest at all. I mean if it was a phrase or a sentence, at least I could google it later but it was like 5/6 sentences that I could not recall. Then she said that she's old, "I'm an old woman, but I'm a serious old woman. I studied, I helped your professeur with the books, I learnt three languages, and I studied hard not to get confused" and I was standing there, gaping, like wow, 3 languages? She continued "You go home, practice speaking it at home. Speak out loud, don't speak it int your brain, practice your tongue and sound chords. Make small notes and put it in your pocket, or bra, and practice it a lot!" I LOLed there, I just wanted to help her clean the whiteboard and I got a free lecture from an 84 year old woman, not that I'm complaining, it was kind of fun. She asked me how would I go home, I told her my dad's waiting, then she told me to go and not worry about her cleaning the whiteboard, and so I said okay, salam and au revoir. Walked out of the class mumbling, "such an interesting old woman."

Voila!

2011-01-21T20:41:00.007+08:00

This photo is courtesy of moi, before anyone speculate I took this from the internet, I snapped this picture yesterday after making the muffins, supervised by my mom. You can guess how tasty they are just by the look of them (Not to brag, but well...they are)

Health issues

2011-01-20T01:56:00.002+08:00

I don't trust doctors. It's not like I choose not to, I just....doubt them. I'm sick, I'm one of those people who gets sick rea~ly quickly, and I've been to at least a dozen of doctors and they all say different stuff which brings me to the conclusion that being a doctor is almost as if doing Addmaths, people are an equation, and I'm like that trick question that some doctors see me lightly.

I've been moving a lot, and it's not like there's only one hospital in town, there are several, and I've been jumping from clinics and hospitals and god knows where else. The thing about this inconstant medical check-up location is that they don't have my medical records, and me being young causes the doctors to overlook a few possibilities. I've watched Dr. Oz in Oprah several times and I know that my medical records are vital. I mean my medical history isn't that much of a joke, low blood pressure, blood infection, lung infection, it gets worse and I don't know what's next.

I get sick too often that getting a headache isn't a symptom to me anymore, I take paracetamol like eating candy, I'm so used to it that sometimes 2 pills at once isn't enough. I don't know why I get soooo tired after shopping or a long trip, maybe it's the car freshener, I mean I love my mom, but that car freshener stinks! Some fragrance makes my head ache and that car freshener is one of them, and my mom's perfume, and my dad's cologne I don't know where he bought it and why he wanted to smell like that but I know I'm not sitting next to him the next time he sprays that unpleasent smell all over his body.

Does stuffy has a smell? Because when the car gets so cramp with all these stuff and I have to bend my knees and make way for my brother next to me, and the bags and stuff that I don't see the reason why it's even in the car, there's another smell (aside from that car freshener smell) like air with a low percentage of oxygen, but why am I the only one uncomfortable? that could not breathe in this closed environment. Everytime we go on a trip or shoppimg, or just travelling anywhere with a car, I always have a head ache and sometimes I vomit but eveyone else are so cool with it.

When I'm in that state, at first I get excused to sleep, (my mom isn't quite fond with her people sleeping, she has those issues) but year by year, gradually I get criticized for being tired. Me being too weak, me cannot toughen up, me being too vulnerable, but then again it's not like I asked for these headaches, like there's war between me and Biology and I lost. It hurts a lot when people say that, but it's not like they know or even care so I just ignore them.

I was living in a hostel when I had blood infection and I didn't knew I had it until I met the third doctor. The first doctor said the headaches are due to not wearing glasses, the second doctor said I just have fever, then the third said the infection has been serious and I need to check in a ward but it a government clinic so there weren't any room left, I stayed at my grands for a month. After that I got better, but the period between me being sick until I finally got diagnosed correctly was literally TORTURE.

First of all I was starving but I couldn't eat. Everytime I eat, I puke the food out before it could even digest. If you ever ate a an expired meal, you would know how torture it is to vomit out food. It's like cheating nature, doing a u-turn at a no-u-turn-zone, it was painful. I din't eat in 3 days. It's harder to resist yourself from eating when you're really hungry, than someone taking food from you when you're really hungry. Hard I tell you, like having all these money but you have to resist shopping. If someone robbed you, at least you can blame the robber, but resisting your desires, you can't blame anyone, and it's really hard. Everytime I wake up I had this HUGE headache and I want to stay in bed, but I had to go to school. It's against the law to stay in the dorms. After walking to school, I vomit some more in the toilet. The toilet's quite far from my bed, so there was a time I vomitted near my bed, and I felt like dying inside but I had to clean up my own vomit, because everyone was like "Ewwwww" . That's when I realized true friends and fake, those who were genuine to me and those who didn't care anything about me.

Sometimes at night I cry, because I know there's something wrong with me, but I had to go to school and people thought I was lying because a doctor said I just have fever. That day It wasn't until I fainted for the third time that they called my grandparents to pick me up. Then everything was fine, but that whole 2 weeks was the worse two weeks I ever had. I felt so wronged, so betrayed, so misjudged. It felt like I was in court fighting for my rights, but the bad guy won. The only thing worse than those two weeks were the 3 day 2 night motivational camp (I wasn't kidding when I said I hate motivational camps the most)

I'm having second thoughts of going overseas for studies. When I get sick, the only place I want to be is home, where I can rest whenever I want to, and have a space of my own, but what if I get sick? I don't know, and I don't want to think about it until I get my results. UiTM sounds pretty nice. It's just around the corner.

My doubt towards doctors was the reason I took Biology. I wanted to know what was wrong with me, but there's too much of Biology that I don't know where to look. One thing I can conclude, my first line of defense is careless, my second line of defense is lousy but my third line of defense is badass :D

I said, Is it my turn?

2011-01-19T01:10:00.001+08:00

Samdong is adorable!

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6

Do you know how freaking awesome it is when a youtube video
is 1hour and you can watch dramas without parts?

Yup, that awesome! But copyright sucks, cause the first 4
episodeswere deleted so another user uploaded it in
5 parts (15 min each)

no worries though, episode 5 onwards would be a straight one
hour youtube video

the drama's very ironic. Wooyoung is the Busan guy but plays

Jason, an American guy while Taecyeon is the American guy, playing

a guy that claims not to be good in English, and Samdong just talks

Busan so comfortably that it doesn't irritates me as much as that young Kim

Takgu kid. Suzy playing Hyemi who says that her vocal range is wider than IU

who plays Pilsook when in real life, IU is the 3-octave queen. It's all kind of

messed up. Irony. But loving the accent.

Tres Bien!

2011-01-18T13:36:00.003+08:00

Waffles would be one of my favorite snacks of all time. Whenever I go to Giant or PAS or wherever that sells waffles, I'd buy some waffles with chocolate spread, the taste is delightful. I know I haven't blogged about Jakarta yet, but during the morning buffet at Mandarin Oriental Hotel, I ate the most beautiful waffle I have ever laid eyes on, it was crispy with that creamy chocolate sauce melting on it, and the strawberry on top looked so sweet and it couldn't get any better with custard sugar sprinkled on top. Two words: YUM-MY

You can say I was craving for waffles yesterday, and decided to do it. Yup, without the snack-maker. The role of the snack-maker is merely to heat the bater up, so I'll just use an alternative equipment, ooh, I don't know, a pan maybe?

There I was separating yolk and egg whites,mixing flour and baking powder gracefully when suddenly...it didn't ..quite look as I expected. But then again, I don't know what to expect when I've never done this before. Maryam came in the kitchen and looked at my bater and said the same thing that was on my mind. "Is that supposed to look like that?"

To be honest I'm not quite sure.

But I 'baked' it anyway, and it turned out...also not as I expected, it was kind of too solid. I checked back the recipe, and darn it!

I forgot the milk, I felt that stupidity crawling to me and I'm not backing down. No, I am Naelah Nordin, I do not give up easily! That's right, I did it all over again, this time WITH the milk. After producing waffle bater 2.0, I have come to the conclusion why a snack-maker is vital in the case of making a waffle, for starters, that's the reason it was invented: to make snacks, duh~ hence the name. Second of all, the bater's too liquid-ish, it's like just a tad thicker than water, so the snack-maker can maintain the shape while heating it. If you don't use a snack-maker, the waffle would be too thin, thus will be misunderstood as pancakes.

The waffle was done, tasted right, but there was still evidence of the failed experiment, and I can't stuff it in the fridge hoping someone will eat it, because I know noone would, so I had to get rid of the evidence before my mom comes home and starts her lecture of "You should put all of your ingredients on the counter before cooking!" , yeah well, we don't have that much big of a counter, and even half of that's filled with cups and a rice-cooker, a water heater, an oven and eggs, so no, I don't like putting all my ingredients before cooking, on a very small space, but the evidence would prove that method was wrong. So I ate all the failed waffles with ice-cream, and I was too full to eat the second version =( but the others ate them, so It doesn't feel that bad when I hear compliments and an A verdict from Ahmad.

Today, I woke up pretty early, and I remember the Adabi perencah I bought the other day, and I could use some Mee bandung right now. The instructions were pretty simple, and there you go. It wasn't perfect, but the egg looked so glamorous that I had to snap a picture. And FYI this is actually the first time ever I posted my cooking online, and I'm quite satisfied with this shot, and another FYI, I can eat with chopsticks normally, thank you very much :)

This got an 8/10 verdict from mom.

a tout a lheure

2011-01-16T20:01:00.000+08:00

Gotta be fast coz Ahmad's just giving me 3 minutes to post this.

Finally passed driving test today, 48/50

Still in the ~~shitty~~ mood of fever

c'est beau ce chant

2011-01-15T12:38:00.000+08:00

Bon appetit!

2011-01-14T15:24:00.000+08:00

I just made a very gorgeous pancake today.

I woke up this ~~morning~~ afternoon, and after shower I just felt like eating pancakes for ~~breakfast~~ brunch and I grabbed my 'simple snack recipe cookbook' and headed off to the kitchen. I was passionately making the batter and when I opened the closet for flour, guess what?

We ran out of flour. As I was slightly being drowned in depression, my mum making my dad feeling guilty for baking all those breads without replacing the flour he used, bibik arrived from the grocery store with flour. =D and so the cooking continues.

You might see this as bragging, but I felt so accomplished. I never made a pancake so beautiful. The texture looked so right with the yellow color blending in with the brown crispy burn, and the taste... was the satisfaction.

I'd be lying to say that picture was my pancake just now,(I don't need raspberries) but as you see the beauty of that pancake up there, that's how I see the beauty of mine.

I made 3 large ones, and I ate one, I put two in the fridge, and as I was watching Grey's anatomy, my mom came in the room.

mom: Sipe pancake dale peti tu untuk sapo?
me: untuk esok & lusa
mom: LOL

I didn't quite understand the humor in my answer until my dad came in 10 minutes later.

dad: Sipe pancake untuk esok?
me: ho!
dad: abah make doh, sedap. Buat lagilah!
me: Em, hola!

Feeling: accomplished

Bonjour Monsieur!

2011-01-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

Tonight was the first official class for French 101, and you can not imagine the drama. Well there weren't much, but it was one heck of a night.

First of all, dad dropped me off in front of the library, and to me, UiTM is gigantically enormous, so I've never learnt the blueprint of the university even if I've been to the Engineering tower every year since I moved to seven, and Monsieur clearly stated that French class was supposed to be at B2-A8-18 ,thank God I knew how to use the elevator which is very 'unique' in that oh so annoying way. When I got to aras 8, the first thing that came across my mind was "Where the heck am I?"

Because it seriously was like a maze, I tried this path, it lead me to a dead end, I tried this path, it lead me to another path which lead me to a door, which was connected to the emergency exit stairway and then two corridors diverged in this white building, I could not tell which one was less taken since both looked practically the same, so I just went wherever I could walk in. It was freaky, because it was at night, and there were no windows and I tried calling some of my French classmates or my mum perhaps, but I just realised I had no credit left, and I remembered someone told this ghost story about someone who was trapped in a building, and could not find the way out, and I was shivering (mainly because I had a fever) and I tried not to think of the bad consequences that might happen. Suddenly I heard footsteps....and a figure was approaching....and that figure was wearing white....that figure was....

Danial!!!!! I never would've imagined feeling joy looking at his face, his dorky familiar face that I had to look at for the past two years out of anger for being so hard to pay the class fees , but I did and I felt so relieved, knowing that even if we were trapped in this building, at least I have someone to talk to out of boredom...and he had credit! His phone was functioning very well! His Arab class was B2-A8-01 so all I had to do was just follow him til he finds his classroom, and then I'd go to mine. After walking out of that maze, we finally found a human, and Danial asked that student the directions to those classrooms, and she was delighted to tell, apparently we were at the wrong tower, the classrooms were at the other tower opposite of the tower we were at. ;/

So after having a clear idea of where we were going and the path we were taking, we had a little chat.I asked him why is he taking Arab 101, and you would not believe what he said. Get ready for this.

Kalau result SPM aku teruk, mmg xleh tolong, ayah aku nak sponsor aku ambik Medic kat Egypt, last resort.

I was like..

Medic in Egypt, LAST RESORT? Seriously dude, last resort? Most people make Medic in Egypt as their dream, their goal, their trigger for motivation, and that is your last resort?

But then again, if your dad's a pilot, the flight ticket's already free =D

We arrived at B2-A8, and I had to bid bye bye and thanks to Danial. When I opened the door of the classroom.......it wasn't French 101....it was Civil engineering.

Uttered a sorry, and walked out of the classroom. I roamed there for 5 minutes (Danial was no where to be seen) and suddenly I saw Monsieur walking with Usamah and some old lady, who turns out to be Monsieur's mother . "Your professeur calls me mak, but Usamah calls me tok!" . Monsieur told me that everyone was already in the classroom which was at the other tower, and he offered me a ride (along with another student lost like me) and walking to the car, Monsieur's mom keeps talking, but she's like this cool middle-aged woman making jokes about death which was....amusing? in a dark way. Like she says "If you leave me here in this elevator, you'll find me here next week as a skeleton" which I did not know how to respond to. But overall seems like an interesting woman.

Madame: I'm 84 years old, I'm not well
me: You look well!
Madame: That's make-up!

LOL!

Class was nice, we learnt from Bonjour to Au revoir, how to make a simple conversation with stuff like Comment vous appellez vous? (What's your name?) and Je m'appelle (my name is) comment allez vouz? (How are you?) Ca va (Fine) and Enchante (nice to meet you)

I like Enchante, it's pronounced On-schan-tay and it sounds so.... french. Idk, I think I'll be using that a lot. That's probably just it. I might post more French drama in my life next time. Bonne nuit!

French movies

2011-01-13T13:32:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching Le petit nicolas, and it was wonderful.

I'm glad that my first french movie was this, because it was so hillarious, I mean I would totally watch this all over again. It's funny how they're all so serious to eliminate Nicolas' baby brother which never existed in the first place, and it's amazing how their friendship had no betrayal and how they were willing to sacrifice themselves for a favour of a friend. I also like the fact every character has its own personality, that the movie did not focus on Nicolas alone, but gave the chance for the sidekicks to develop as well.

And I chose this movie over Amelie because it's a movie for kids, so the script are simple for beginners like me.

My favourite scene would definitely be the moment Clotaire was able to answer the minister's question. Everyone was nervously hoping Clotaire would get it right, and when he did, everyone was cheering and applauding and even the teacher was almost crying, and the minister had this confused face because it wasn't a hard question to begin with, but for Clotaire it was a big deal.

Even though Nicolas is the main character, I personally find Clotaire's character to be very fascinating and I really enjoyed his acting. Plus, he has the best lines out of the entire movie.

next on my French list: Amelie & Le Herrison

Warming up.

2011-01-13T01:35:00.000+08:00

Just to clear things up, this is the french in GD TOP's Baby Good night teaser, not the actual song. This French part was recited by a guy, while the actual version was recited by a girl, and it's a total different passage, and I really like the teaser, so I'm trying to pronounce the words correctly cause he talks very clearly.(Plus, the song itself is nice )

Toi mon seul amour, je t'aimerai et prierai comme si c'etait notre derniere nuit..
N'ai pas peur, meme si le soleil se leve, nous serons toujours ensemble, Ma cherie

You my only love, I love you and pray as if it was our last night...
I'm not afraid, even if the sun rises, we'll always be together, my darling

lags a bit

Hocus pocus focus!

2011-01-12T19:05:00.000+08:00

I know I've been meaning to master cooking but....I fail at it, I really do. I mean I don't know the first thing about cooking and it drives me crazy with its uncertainty. I don't like uncertainty, they're so....manipulative, how can recipes so different produce the same thing? It's insane, when you search for a recipe, there's no general universally used recipe, because there are at least dozens of recipes for one meal, and you try a random one, and you don't know how it's supposed to taste, and sometimes it doesn't taste right at all, and you wonder if it's supposed to be like that in the first place.

When you say 'garam secukup rasa' how can you tell how much is cukup? With every spoon of salt we scoop, the number of atoms are different, so the number of atoms reacting, and creating that salty sensation are different, and just how much do you need? When you say half a cup, what size of cup do you mean, do you need to scoop it till its full? or should there be a hill? Or should you leave the ingredient flat on the surface? When you say 4 onions, how much grams of it's mass? Every onion has a different size, how am I supposed to know if it's 4 small ones or 4 big ones or 3 big 1 small? When you say this type of rice needs more water, this type of salt need to be put more, this type of milk should be put last, what do you mean by 'types'? There's no directory or a solid universal measurement of what needs more and what needs less.

It hurts my pride when a guy can cook and I can't. But then again, cooking isn't a nature, cooking is art, and not everyone's an artist. When I went to language class last night, I met Danial (he's taking arab) and when I looked at him, all these memories came back, it's been like 2 months since I last saw him (Didn't see him much during SPM) so I remembered his brownies and cakes which were so delicious, and I feel such a fail for not being able to cook AT ALL, it's just one disaster after another, my midnight experiments involve very inedible data.

And to top of that, I failed driving test. What? now I can't cook and drive?

That's it, I'm not working for my SPM break, I'm going to focus on cooking, driving, sewing, and French. By the end of March, insyaALLAH, I would be a sewing French cook with a driving license. Yes. Yes, I will have to focus a lot, and I can achieve this dream. I'm changing the 'Mastering the art of cookery' tag to ...erm..... ahah! 'sewing french cook with a driving lisence project'. Yes, that would be it.

Okay, breathe in, breathe out!

This project starts now.

01 Jakarta, Indonesia

2011-01-12T17:17:00.000+08:00

01 Jakarta, Indonesia
6/1/2011 - 10/1/2011

more photos, upload later

*I took that photo above....with some slight editting.

Grey's Anatomy Christina Owen marathon- never been better

2011-01-12T03:37:00.000+08:00

They're like the only reason I watch Grey's anatomy.

"You should wear your hair up more often, shows the back of your neck, and I like the back of your neck."

" You need to stop thinking about what’s gonna happen. You need to focus on what’s right in front of you"

2011-01-11T19:18:00.001+08:00