I know when I'm ready and when I don't. When I'm ready, I have the confidence to atleast try it out, like I can see it possible for me doing it. I'm not ready when I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and what do I do next. I know when I need a teacher, and when I don't. I know that I need to practice more,  but in what way does it benefit, when I keep practicing something I'm pretty much clueless about. That's why I want someone to be beside me, and guide me throughout this clueless period, because I don't know how in the world does this bloody system works, I still don't get it. So when I ask some people to come teach me how it's done, and they say "Gi berlatih sendiri nuh!" It's bloody frustrating, and when I do go and try to practice, and try calming myself down, saying that everything's gonna be alright, just stay calm and just do it. When I screwed up, I get blamed "nok bowok keto sangat!" well the thing is, I don't. I don't want to drive a box that I can't feel its touch receptors. I don't want to do something that I'm not ready, but since they understand this whole thing, they assume that's it's easy for me.

Having a P using a kancil is different than trying imply all those teachings on a Honda. I wasn't taught to park using side mirrors, I was taught some cheating techniques on how to pass the parking test, using a kancil. Damn it, there's not even a book to study on how to drive. The books the driving school provided are all just about rules, and sign boards, and things to do when you're stuck in an emergency situation, which does not help at all when you can't drive in the first place.

It's like being blindfolded. You know those 'put the tail on the donkey' games or hitting the pinyata, you don't know where you're going, and that's how I feel when I park a car. I can't freaking see anything: the cars, the lines, the space, the car I'm in, and the whole possibility of clashing with one another. People keep saying to 'estimate' everything, when I can't even see. It's like getting a new set of eyes that you don't know how to use. I mean, I can see there's a car behind me, I see that I'm getting closer with it when I reverse, I just can't 'estimate' everything. I still don't understand how everything works, and I still feel blindfolded

Labels: charlie you look so down

I know when I'm ready and when I don't. When I'm ready, I have the confidence to atleast try it out, like I can see it possible for me doing it. I'm not ready when I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and what do I do next. I know when I need a teacher, and when I don't. I know that I need to practice more,  but in what way does it benefit, when I keep practicing something I'm pretty much clueless about. That's why I want someone to be beside me, and guide me throughout this clueless period, because I don't know how in the world does this bloody system works, I still don't get it. So when I ask some people to come teach me how it's done, and they say "Gi berlatih sendiri nuh!" It's bloody frustrating, and when I do go and try to practice, and try calming myself down, saying that everything's gonna be alright, just stay calm and just do it. When I screwed up, I get blamed "nok bowok keto sangat!" well the thing is, I don't. I don't want to drive a box that I can't feel its touch receptors. I don't want to do something that I'm not ready, but since they understand this whole thing, they assume that's it's easy for me.

Having a P using a kancil is different than trying imply all those teachings on a Honda. I wasn't taught to park using side mirrors, I was taught some cheating techniques on how to pass the parking test, using a kancil. Damn it, there's not even a book to study on how to drive. The books the driving school provided are all just about rules, and sign boards, and things to do when you're stuck in an emergency situation, which does not help at all when you can't drive in the first place.

It's like being blindfolded. You know those 'put the tail on the donkey' games or hitting the pinyata, you don't know where you're going, and that's how I feel when I park a car. I can't freaking see anything: the cars, the lines, the space, the car I'm in, and the whole possibility of clashing with one another. People keep saying to 'estimate' everything, when I can't even see. It's like getting a new set of eyes that you don't know how to use. I mean, I can see there's a car behind me, I see that I'm getting closer with it when I reverse, I just can't 'estimate' everything. I still don't understand how everything works, and I still feel blindfolded

Labels: charlie you look so down

the name's Naelah Nordin, and if we've been close, you'd know my middle name too. 18, going through the ups and downs of life, nothing different than yours.

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